


I'm Only Human

by MaDh0uSe



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcoholic!Danielle, Alternate Universe, Anorexic!Niall, Blindfolds, Bottom Louis, Bottom Niall, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Famous Harry, Famous Liam, Famous Luke, Famous Zayn, Forced Prostitution, I feel bad for Eleanor in this fic, I promise there will be smut!!, I'll add more tags as the story moves along, Kidnapping, Larry Stylinson- Fandom - Freeform, Louis loves his tea, Luke Callum and Michael are 5SOS, M/M, Memories, Past Domestic Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitute!Louis, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stripper!Ashton, Stripper!Danielle, Stripper!Eleanor, Theres going to be lots of smut, Top Harry, Underage Sex, and Lou and Niall too, as not to spoil anything, but Harry will save them eventually, copious amounts of drugs at times, danielle is a lesbian that loves el, dont worry harry settles down, eleanor is a lesbian that loves 1D, harrie loves lewie, her story is so sad, mentions of mental disorders, platonic of course (sometimes), slight knife/blood play, stripper!Louis, stripper!niall, theres gonna be a lot of Nouis too, they make a lot of tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:14:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1977309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaDh0uSe/pseuds/MaDh0uSe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five young best friends, all with their whole lives ahead of them. Well for three of them. One day, when they were playing a little too far out, Niall and Louis suddenly disappear. It isn't until Harry, Liam, and Zayn are a little older, that they find out that it was a kidnapping case. For the next few years, the trio search helplessly for their two friends; however, the case is closed after three years of empty clues and dead ends.They abandon all hope of their friends being alive, and the trio is forced to continue their lives without Niall and Louis.</p><p>Years later, the trio all audition separately for the X-Factor and are miraculously put into a band together. They don't win, but became ultra famous very early in their career. However, on Harry's 20th birthday, they will find that their friends have been under their noses for a long time.</p><p>OR the one where Louis was kidnapped as a child and Harry is a really sad boybander</p><p>Title from Human by Christina Perri</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: mentions of kidnapping

Louis

Liam

Zayn

Niall

Harry

They were inseparable, at least they all thought so. They always went everywhere together, if one didn't go, then none went. Being the eldest, Louis was the unofficial leader of the group and biggest prankster. Liam was Louis' right hand man, and also a huge prankster. Zayn was the cautious one, making sure they stayed out of major trouble and who also loved to read. Niall just went with the flow, and was never without some sort of food with him, he was also really chubby. Harry was the baby of the group and tried desperately to fit in, and Louis was always very protective of him.

Louis and Liam decided they should be adventurers and explore the forest around their houses. Zayn highly disagreed, but was quickly overruled. Niall didn't care as long as he had food with him. Harry would have done whatever Louis was doing, without question.

So, they were off. They had a lot of fun roaming around and finding new things. More than once Louis and Liam had scared Zayn with small garden snakes, and had everyone (except Zayn) laughing. Once it had started getting darker, they headed back. At the forest's edge, Louis noticed the Niall wasn't with them. He got very worried and told the boys to head home, he would find Niall. So they trusted their fearless leader and went home, even reluctant Harry. The next day, with no sign of Louis, Jay Tomlinson calls the police. After about a week of police searching, all three boys were gathered in the Tomlinson household, with all of the families together. They were told that Louis and Niall were missing, and might not come back. They were heartbroken, and never the same.

Five years later they all gathered again, this time the boys were told the truth. Louis and Niall had been kidnapped, and the police department finally stopped the investigation due to lack of leads and evidence. The boys were heartbroken once again. Especially Harry, who had finally realized that he was in love with Louis.

Ten years after that, they all auditioned separately for the show The X-Factor. They made it to boot-camp and were elated, but it was short lived when they found out that they had been then rejected as solo artists. But were put together by Simon Cowell as a group,One Direction. They placed third, and were still signed to Syco. They became extremely famous very early on, because of their charming good looks and personalities, and their honey-dipped, silky sweet voices.

Finally, doused in work, they were able to get their minds off of the two blue eyed boys...

☃☃

"Harry, can you redo that last part? I need you to do it smoother and higher." Their tech guy, John, asks. He nods and redid his last solo on ‘You and I’, and after about three more annoying hours, he was allowed to go home.

Once back at his flat, he checks his phone and notices that he missed two calls from Mum, one from Zayn, and ten from Liam. Geez, he is such a worrywart. Harry shakes his head and decides to call Liam first, so he doesn't have a hernia.

"Harry are you okay? I was worried. I mean you were at the studio for a long time, and when we came to get you, you weren't there!" Liam's voice was rushed and coming out in short spurts, he must have been running around to find the curly haired lad. Harry rolls his eyes, thankful that Liam can't see him.

"Li, I'm fine." Harry can imagine that Liam is having an internal battle, on whether or not to yell at the curly haired lad.

"We're coming over." He states firmly, there is no discussion so Harry ends the call and he listens to the voicemails from his Mum.

"Hey sweetie, just wanted to check on you. Are you eating well? Are you spending enough time relaxing? I know you have a tenancy to overwork yourself. I mean that one time you-" and she rambles on until the answering machine cuts her off. He sighed, knowing the next one is going to be the same, so he decide not to listen to it.

Harry goes over to the Telly and plops down on the couch. Once Li and Zayn come over, he knew he wouldn't have any time to relax. He flipped to the news, and one particular story caught his eye.

"Now, in recent reports, there have been more kidnapping case coming to light. In the past decade, there have been over ten thousand kidnappings reported. No one knows what happens to the children abducted, they could have been murdered, raped, raped and murdered, or even sold into sexual slavery." Harry doesn't listen to the rest, he physically can't. His mind is whirling around and the room is spinning. He can't breathe, but he also can't move at all. His breathing becomes sharp and ragged. The only thing he saw was a small chestnut haired, blue eyed boy before blacking out.

☃☃

Harry wakes up in his bed, surprisingly, with Liam and Zayn asleep by his side. Liam's eyes are red rimmed and puffy, laying his head on the bed. Zayn is balled up on the chair, head on his knees. Zayn lifts his head and sees that he is awake, and immediately tackles him. The youngest lets out a grunt and Zayn apologizes, waking Liam up.

"Harry! Are you okay?" Harry sits up slowly and props up the pillow behind himself. Is he okay? No, he's not. He's missing a large part of himself, the love of his life. How can Harry be okay when he's constantly reminded that he failed to protect the most important thing in his life? Sure Harry was only eight, but he still should have done something. Anything. For all he knows now Lou could be dead, being physically abused, Harry thinks, and shudders at the last thought.

“I’m fine."

"No you're not." There he goes, all Daddy freaking Direction. Harry looks up into his eyes, they aren't lying. He sighs, of course Liam would be right.

"You're right, I'm not but none of us are. And I'll be fine." Liam seemed alright with his answer and told Harry that he and Zayn would make dinner tomorrow night. Great. They are treating him like a dependent child; he is turning twenty in a week, he shouldn't be taken care of like this.

Harry ends up not moving at all, just thinking. Thinking about his life and about Lou and Niall's lives, if they are alive. Harry gets that familiar pang in his chest, the one he feels when he thinks about Lou. His Boo. That's what Harry used to call Louis, because he heard Lou's mum call him that. But Louis never complained about Harry calling him that, even though he hated when anyone else would call him boo. Which, of course, made Harry feel special to the older boy.

Harry's phone rang. Kendall. Great, he thought, another date with someone he honestly couldn't give a shit about. He was only dating her for the publicity, and will end up breaking it off in a week or two. Harry ignores the call and gets up, reluctantly, getting ready for his dinner date with her. He dresses semi-nice in black chinos and a white button up, he grabs his keys and makes his way to the door. Harry stops halfway through the door, and runs back into his bedroom; he grabs his old, faded and tattered pink friendship bracelet. The bracelet that Louis had made for him years ago. One of the girls in his class had taught him how to make the bracelets and he made one for each of the boys. But Harry got the only pink one, the first one that Louis had made; and sure, it had been a little more poorly made than the others, but it held more meaning for Harry.

This time Harry had successfully made it to his car, and to Kendall's hotel. She made her way out and climbed into the passenger side of the vehicle. Harry had to admit that she looked pretty in her little black dress. They make small talk about their day, and arrive at a fancy restaurant near downtown London. The couple makes their way to a secluded booth in the back, and order their overpriced meals. Harry just listens to Kednall rant about this new model that she felt was trying to take her spot, but honestly he wasn't really listening, just nodding his head and giving the occasional "That's terrible."

"So how is the album coming along?" Harry turns his attention to the model in front of him. He had already finished his pasta, and saw that Kendall had only eaten half if her tiny salad. Probably starving herself again.

"It's good, annoying having to spend hours in the studio though." Harry grabbed another breadstick out of the basket and munched slowly on it. Kendall excused herself to the bathroom and Harry decided to call his friend Nick. Nick Grimshaw is a radio host, and they had met when One Direction had been interviewed by Grimmy himself. Nick was a pretty good person to talk to at the moment, knowing that she wouldn't be out of the bathroom for a while.

"What's up Bitch?" Harry chuckles at the way Nick answers his phone, which had gotten him in trouble with his boss quite a few times.

"Nothing, I'm just on a date with Kendall and I'm bored as hell."

"Well maybe you should just break up with her already if you're so unhappy, for fucks sake you look borderline depressed when the paps get pictures of you two. No one believes that you like her, except her, and that's just sad." He's right, Harry never really wanted to date her, management figured it would be a good idea and Harry just went along with it. After all, it's not like anyone he dates will ever actually have his heart, his dick maybe, but not his heart. His heart belongs to his Boobear.

"Yeah, I'm planning on breaking up with her soon, tomorrow probably." Before Nick can reply, Harry hears a gasp behind him. He turns to see a red faced Kardashian, on the verge of crying. Harry tells Nick he has to go and hangs up.

"What do you mean 'I'm planning on breaking up with her tomorrow probably'?" Kendall's, newly redone, makeup was now streaming down her cheeks in thin lines. Harry slides out of his chair and gently wipes her cheeks with his thumb and she starts to lean in to kiss him. Harry leans away and mumbles a small 'sorry', Kendall starts crying again and Harry is glad that they have a private room to eat in.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way." Harry wasn't actually sorry, he was just trying to be polite and make her feel a little better. After all, he did lead her on. Tears still slowly streaming down her rose tinted cheeks, Harry paid for the meal and quickly led Kendall into the car. The car ride was short and very awkward, and Harry was relieved when it was over. Harry walked Kendall to her hotel room like a proper man and Kendall turned around before going inside.

"Oh yeah." Then Harry hears a loud smack and feels his left cheek heat up before he realizes that Kendall had just slapped him. He blinks a couple times and sees her slip into the room, Harry snaps out of his little trance and goes home to relax and cleanse himself of the Kardashian.

Once he's home, Harry slips out of all his clothes, except for his bracelet, and slips into bed. Then sleep quickly overtakes him after a long day

☃☃

"Hazza!" Harry looks up from the book he was reading and his eyes connected with Louis', his eyes filled with mischief and innocence that usually allowed Louis to get away with his actions. Louis held his hand out to Harry and Harry took his hand without hesitation, helping himself up from his position and then dusted himself off. 

"Wanna do something fun?" Harry was sure that Louis knew Harry would agree anyway, but he still asked what they were doing. Harry had done many things with Louis that he would have never done on his own, Louis always brought out that tiny mischievous side of Harry and, surprisingly, he liked it. 

"What are we doing Boo?" Louis just shrugged and dragged Harry along to his house, and Harry stopped questioning Louis because he didn't care what they were doing he just loved being with his Boo. They got to Lou's house and ran up to his room, Louis' room was messy and his dark blue paint was chipping in places where things got thrown at it. Louis' books, toys, and clothes were all thrown around the floor and the two little boys jumped onto Louis' blue racecar bed; Louis had paper and crayons scattered across the bed and what looked to be plans drawn on the paper. There were poorly drawn houses and people and arrows pointing between everything, but it seemed as though Louis had actually planned out on of his pranks instead of going along with the flow of how his poor plan had panned out. Harry smiled as Louis tried to explain his plan to Harry and he only understood that Louis and he were going to ambush the other guys with balloons filled with pudding. Harry knew he would only slow Louis down, but he couldn't help the feeling of pride that surged through him knowing that Louis had wanted Harry to help him with his plan and not Liam.

The plan hadn’t worked out too well because Liam had recruited both Zayn and Niall to do the same thing to Louis and Harry, Liam had figured Louis would recruit Harry to his army, and they were destroyed in combat. However, the whole time they were getting destroyed by the others, all Harry could think about was how much he admired the oldest boy. Little did he know that he liked Louis in more than a friendly way, and little did he know that Louis felt the same way about him. 

☃☃

Harry woke up with sunlight shining right in his eyes and banging on the front door. Harry slipped on some boxers and went to see who had awoken the beast, and Harry really didn’t care that they would see him mostly naked. 

He opened the door to find Liam and Zayn all bright eyed and bushy-tailed holding bags of groceries, Harry sighed and let the two inside while stepping aside to put some joggers on. Harry hated being treated like a child, even though he is the ‘baby’ of the band, he would like to think that he acts pretty freakin’ mature –not in a dirty way- for his age. But it’s like when a person has a little sibling, they eventually grow older and more mature, but they will always be that little kid to them. Even so, Harry still hates it. 

“Omelets okay with you Haz?” Liam asks cracking eggs in a bowl with Zayn mixing something together in a bowl a few feet away. Harry shrugs his shoulders and walks back into his room.

Back in his room, Harry puts on a shirt and his bracelet, and he makes his way to his laptop and logs onto twitter. As usual hundreds of fans are asking him to follow them and tell him how much they love him which makes Harry smile at his adoring fans; however, there are also the many hate comments that he just ignores because his fans will most likely attack that person anyways. Then he does something he hasn’t done in months, he DM’s Lottie Tomlinson. In the past few years they have become each other’s support and Lottie more than anything wants to know her brother –as does everyone else- and wants to eventually meet Harry as well. All the Tomlinson (and Austin) siblings are incredibly amazing people, but also incredibly broken people as well because Jay Tomlinson is extremely depressed and it is really taking a toll on everyone. Harry and Lottie talk about everything, since Harry hasn’t talked to her in months, and Harry doesn’t hear Liam calling him repeatedly. Liam barges into the room to see Harry giggling into his laptop screen. 

“What are you doing?” Harry jumps, scared by Liam’s sudden question, and messages Lottie that he has to go. He closes the laptop and turns to see Liam with his disapproving look. Harry looks away quickly and walks down to the table and plops down away from his mates. 

After a few minutes of complete silence Liam speaks up, “Harry, why do you continue to talk to Lottie?” Harry doesn’t look up but continues to poke at his barely-eaten food, Zayn clears away the dishes and sits down quickly. By the time he gets back no one has moved a muscle. 

“Why is it so bad?” The two older males look up in surprise at the younger male who normally wouldn’t talk if he didn’t have to. Harry is tired of his ‘mates’ lecturing him for talking to Lottie, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, he is happy with her, things are comfortable. 

“It’s torturing you.” Torturing him? Harry looks at Liam, who is looking at his hands, and Zayn, who is fiddling with his phone. Harry just laughs. Liam and Zayn look at Harry as though he is insane, and maybe he is…

“That is the stupidest thing that you have ever said Leeyum! Wooh, I needed a good laugh.” But Harry wasn’t actually laughing and smiling because his dimples aren’t showing. They never do anymore. Instead of anger for talking to Lottie, Liam is just sad, sad for Harry –and maybe even for himself. 

Harry has had enough of this and gets up,” She will never be Louis, Harry.” Liam calls out.

Harry walks into his bathroom, slides down on his door and cries. 

“I know.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis works and Niall doesn't eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) I just wanted to say thank you sooooooo very much for reading, commenting, bookmarking and kudoing. It makes my day. I tried really hard on this chapter so I hope it's okay *crosses fingers*
> 
> Anywhore, I want to thank my Beta Katelyn (AKA BitchTits) for looking over this and giving some ideas for future chapters, and music for always being there when I need it. 
> 
> Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Trigger Warning: child molestation, eating disorders, mentions of abuse, rape/non con elements

Louis looks around the dim room noticing that everything is unfamiliar and scary, his eight year old brain still doesn’t know what’s happening or what’s going on. He tries to move but he now realizes that his arms are tied to the headboard of a large bed and his feet handcuffed together. Louis starts to panic, unable to get free, and tries thrashing around; but, he only succeeds in bruising his wrists and wearing himself out. Louis wonders where Niall was scared that he was in the same position he was in. Louis was always protective of his friends and Niall was too sweet to be harmed.

The door in front of him opened revealing a tall man, but Louis only noticed a crying Niall being held by his hair by said man. The man dragged Niall and threw him onto the bed with Louis, and Niall curled into Louis’ side. Louis glared at the man trying to be intimidating, but his shaking limbs said otherwise to the twisted bastard. The man only saw this as an invitation to walk over to Louis’ other side and start stroking the smooth, baby skin on Louis’ tummy. Louis finally realized that he was pretty much naked besides wearing a pair of little girl, princess panties, his small penis poking out of the tiny, pink panties and the edges digging into the soft flesh of Louis’ arse.

“So beautiful.” The man’s deep, throaty voice rings clearly in the quiet of the room. Louis shivers in disgust, but the man takes it as pleasure.

“Please Sir, let me go. I’m scared.” Louis tries begging the man hoping that maybe this is a dream, maybe he never went to the woods and was still sleeping in his bed about to wake up and play with- Louis gasps. Harry! Louis looks around for any sign of Hazza or LiLi or Zee, but no luck. Or maybe it is lucky that none of the other boys are here in this scary place.

“Why would I do that Cutie? When we are going to have so much fun together.” The man smiles brightly and, for a moment, Louis was fooled into thinking that the man wasn’t as dangerous as he thought; but, Louis knew better and started thrashing again, not caring that Niall got pushed away from him, or that the man’s face darkened. A moment later Louis felt a sharp sting on his cheek before he heard the smack that echoed inside that silent house. Louis had never really been hit before, aside for the occasional spanking by his mum for pushing Lottie down or throwing a temper tantrum over his vegetables, but he had never been hit on his face out of pure malice before. It made Louis cry internally for his mum, for Mark, for Lottie, for Li, for Zee, for Haz…

“Only bad boys do that Cutie. You either do what I say or you get punished. Okay?” His childish brain didn’t want to be bad or get hurt, so Louis nodded. The man smiled and walked away. Niall was still clutching Louis’ side and crying his heart out, he moved to look at Louis when he whispered “Ni?” Niall only whimpered as a response. “Nialler, I need you to look at me.” Niall looks up meeting Louis’ matching blue eyes knowing that his as well are showing fear, “Niall we need to get out of here, but we can’t right now so we need to be good in the meantime, okay?” In a situation like this you have to be extremely delicate, one wrong move will kill any chance of ever escaping. For a ten year old Louis had always been smarter than most of the older kids, mainly because he loved to read and learn, so in a way it gave Louis the upper hand in a situation that requires a lot of planning; but, no matter how smart Louis is, he is still a scared little boy that just wants to crawl into bed with his mum and cry.

The man came back with a box filled with what looked like weird toys and bottles. He took out a pair of handcuffs and tied Niall up next to Louis, tears spilling down his cheeks. Niall got slapped and was told to be happy, and Niall plastered on what would soon be perfected to become his ‘award winning smile’. The man then stripped Louis of his clothes and told him, “Big boys go first,” he put Niall in the perfect position to see everything that was being done to Louis, and soon enough it would be vice versa.

He lubed up his long fingers and mercilessly pushed through the wall of Louis’ innocence. Louis would be able to tell you, years later, that is was the exact moment that Louis stopped being a child. He would tell you that someone only becomes an adult when they’ve lost their innocence, not virginity but innocence, the only thing that makes up a child and the thing that every adult lacks. Being an adult and being mature are two different things, sure it is best if the two coerce harmoniously within a single being, but most of the time they are not found together. Louis would tell you he became an adult at an early age and matured at the same time. He would tell you he had hoped that, like in the movies, a hero would come and save him like the damsel in distress that he was (is?) and everything would get better. But he would also tell you that no one did.  
No one would ever come.

∞ ∞ ∞

Louis woke up sweating and panting. Again. Only, luckily, in his own bed with Niall snuggled up to his side like an abused puppy that seeks love, which is a pretty good simile for his and Niall’s lives. He makes quick out of his bed grabbing some clothes left in a pile on the floor and quietly goes to the bathroom to change.

In the bathroom he looks at his reflection, eyes slightly sunken in and darkening from his recurring nightmares that he has had since about a few months after escaping HIM, cheeks hollowing and body thinning from lack of food due to his disgust of anything going in and out of him, and overall he knows he looks like shite. Louis doesn’t fancy people calling him beautiful or sexy or just plain good-looking because he knows that he looks anything but.

When he can’t stand to look at himself any longer he takes only a five minute shower and gets dressed in the simple clothes he brought in under two. Louis walks past a still sleeping Niall and looks at the clock on his nightstand 3:30. No one will be up for another four hours or so, Louis figures he might as well catch up on his reading. He grabs an old, battered copy of To Kill a Mockingbird and makes his way to the lounge room where most of the dancers go for relaxing when they are too tired or lazy to get to their room. He sits in his favorite leather chair that is right next to the window that overlooks the hustle and bustle of downtown London that surrounds the club, but Louis’ favorite time to relax in the chair is sunrise when that sky is painted in strokes of yellows, reds and oranges. Louis loves watching the sun rise above the buildings because it reminds him that the sun is always rising and falling that with every moment of despair there will always be a moment of triumph that darkness will never last forever, or something. Louis has never been much of an optimist, he prefers to think negatively so that when he is let down it is easier and less of a shock.

It was only three hours later when someone finally came into the lounge room and sat down a couple feet away in a bean bag. Louis looked up from his book at Eleanor, one of the female dancers who was raped at the tender age of 12, and she smiled her radiant smile at Louis. Louis can’t not smile with El, she was the first person he befriended when he and Niall were first adopted by ‘Master’. When they first arrived, a 14 year old Eleanor greeted them with a broken smile that touched Louis and broke down his walls. Since then El had proven to be a great friend for both boys over the years. Eleanor had her hair tied up in a messy bun in only her bra and panties as she sipped a cup of hot coffee.

“How can you drink that crap?” Louis looks at the black coffee in disgust as Eleanor chugs more of it down. It’s almost as if you he could see her skin glow and rejuvenate as the caffeine fills her bloodstream. She just shrugs and picks up a gossip magazine that she got from a client, a regular client that usually brings gifts hoping to buy Eleanor’s affections, on the cover of said magazine are three very attractive boys (men?) in fancy suits. One has a buzz cut with prominent muscles showing through his classic black tux and soft brown eyes giving him an overall soft look, another has an expertly crafted quaff atop his caramel skin with cheekbones that could cut glass and sexy scuff framing his sharp jawline and darker and more mysterious brown eyes that add to his mysterious bad boy look, but the one that sticks out to Louis is the one with chocolate curls pulled back by a Union Jack headscarf and dimples showing because of the radiant smile reaching his gorgeous green eyes that remind Louis of a perfectly domestic house lawn. Louis can honestly say that they are the most attractive boys (men?) he had ever seen. Louis’ eyes linger on Curly longer than he would like and has to tear away his gaze to a smirking Eleanor.

“Like what you see?” She closes the magazine and looks at the cover. Louis blushes, but shakes his head not wanting El to tease him for this, even though he knows she will anyways, he just thinks they are attractive.

“They’re called One Direction, a boy band formed a few years ago on a TV singing show. They placed third, and yet they were more successful than anyone. Proper A-list stars at only like 20-21-ish.” Louis was surprised to know they are superstars at only 20-ish, it makes Louis feel kind of like a bum in comparison. Louis and Niall both love to sing, it was a distraction from all the shit they were going through and it lightens the spirits of the dancers after a long or bad day; usually Louis and Niall put on a little concert in their room every Sunday to celebrate the end of another week and everyone takes the night off to party. Eleanor will usually supply Louis and Niall with new music on Monday and Niall practices some cords on his guitar and Ashton would play drums, they thought of themselves as a proper little band.

Sadly it was Friday, which means work and clients.

“Cool. I’m sure they sound as wonderful as they look.” Eleanor smirks again and walks out of the room with One Direction’s faces. Louis just shakes it off and goes back to his book.

It’s another two hours before Louis puts Mockingbird down and goes to wake his sleeping leprechaun, Niall’s body is half under the covers, sprawled all across the queen sized bed, and the other half is hanging off the side. Louis giggles and an idea pops in his head. He goes to the his desk and grabs the feather pen El gave him a few years ago when a client gave it to her and she was too scared to say no and ended up re-gifting it to Louis. The pen is hot pink with a big, neon green feather on the end. Louis takes the pen and crawls carefully onto the bed; and, Louis slowly and lightly drags the feather across the skin of Niall’s ribs. Niall quickly rolls off the side of the bed with a smack and a groan.

“You cunt muncher, I hate you!” Louis walks out of his room to avoid the wrath of ‘Morning Niall’ and makes his way to the dance studio to perfect his new routine. The routine involves a lot of pole action because women love poles, right?

In the studio, Danielle is already talking with Eleanor about their pair routine. Every Monday through Thursday are practice days with no shows or clients while Friday and Saturday are routine and client days. Friday is the boys’ day and Saturday is the girls’, they work on group and individual routines that differ each week. This week is ‘Jungle’ with the boys wearing tan loin cloths and the girls same except with a tan, strapless bra. Louis spots Ash stretching on the opposite side of the room while the girls decided to make-out instead of talk. Louis rolls his eyes and sets his bag, filled with water, food, his costume, and some extra clothes, next to Ashton as he bends down to stretch his leg muscles.

“Hey Lou.” Ashton gave Louis a bright smile

“Ash.” He says with a slight nod looking back to El and Danielle who had already left the room. Louis shrugs it off and goes back to stretching. Niall walks in with a death glare to Louis who, in return, blows him a kiss.

“So, you guys ready for the performance?” Ashton, done with his stretching, had gotten up and had his hand held to Louis who took it and stood up. Louis and Niall nodded and the trio practiced for around three hours before heading to eat lunch and rest for the performance that night. Niall refused to eat anything even with Louis hounding him. Louis let it go for now, but he would get Niall to eat something.

Soon enough it was time for the performance and Louis was putting some light makeup on to cover blemishes and shine. He had already put on his loin cloth and El styled his hair into sex hair, to look wild and sexy. Niall was the first to finish with Louis helping and Ashton was just about done. Louis went through his pre-performance ritual of breathing exercises and yoga, it calms him and settles the other him.

Niall and Ashton huddle around Louis, and Niall hands Louis a vodka shot. Another pre-performance ritual, vodka shots. Very calming. Eleanor and Danielle huddle in with them for good luck as they whisper reassurances that the boys will do fine.

“Time to go. Full house. Got Ed Sheeran in the private room with some of his friends.” ‘Master’ says walking away. A man of few words, always has been.

“Now, for today’s treat are some dancers that you all know well. First, we’ve got Teasing Tyler!” ‘Master’ says from a microphone as. The crowd goes crazy, cheering, clapping, and cat calling; and, Louis can see pretty much all of the girls blushing madly.

“Next is everyone’s favorite leprechaun, Ireland!” More hollering and cheering as Niall goes out pelvic thrusting. Everyone loves an Irishman.

“And finally, we have the fantastic, sexy, amazing, Fallen Angel!” That was Louis’ cue. Now or never, he thinks and pulls away the silk curtains.

Bright flashing lights and loud party music fill Louis’ senses as he looks around with his hand shielding his eyes, He knows Niall and Ashton are behind him dancing. They start by doing some choreography and some more provocative moves to the floor. He takes one of the ropes attached to a steel beam that looks like a vine and swings onto one of the poles designed to look like trees. Niall swings onto another pole and displays his own sweat coated body, his toned muscles ripple against his pale Irish skin in the colorful lights. He shows of his expertise on one of the many poles, doing spins and hanging sideways on the pole by his strong abdominal and thigh muscles. Ashton is in the front basically fucking the floor into submission. Louis gets off the pole to join Ashton in dancing and Niall does the same a few seconds later. Louis can feel sweat slicking up and down his body from the temperature of the room which fuels his adrenaline. This is his high, what gets him through all the bad things about his job or situation, Louis lives off this, the cheering, the admiration, the acceptance. For once Louis doesn’t feel like some cheap whore, he feels like people actually like him or want to be with him. He feels loved.  
Louis’ best friend winks at him and that is Louis’ cue to get on a pole as well, and Louis shows off some of his own tricks that the many regulars recognize. Cheers crowd Louis’ ears more than the music does, Louis grins knowing he did well.

They continue with their dance routine full of grinding and stripping, and Louis makes his way into the crowd in his costume and picks a petite girl with purple hair and a birthday crown on her head, and lightly drags her onto the stage where some of the stagehands had placed two chairs. He sits the girl in the chair and straddles her, he does a move in between a twerk and a grind and the girl starts madly blushing and giggling. She grabs Louis’ bum and gives it a squeeze, and the audience goes crazy with excitement. Louis looks over to see that Niall had picked up another female, a brunette with highlights. Louis then takes off the girl’s thin shirt to reveal some lacy, red lingerie. The girl blushes and Louis licks from her belly button all the way up her flat tummy to her average boobs and then to her chin and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You okay Love?” She nods and slips some bills into Louis’ costume and Louis gives the nameless birthday girl a couple more grinds before he takes her off the stage and back to  
her table where her friends slip some more bills into his costume.

Louis is still coming off of his high when he, Niall and Ashton finish up their group dance. Louis and Niall leave Ashton alone for his solo. Louis for the first time that night looks into the A-list room where all of the A-list celebrities go to watch the show in privacy. The joint Louis works at has at least one A-list celebrity every show, seeing as it is the most exclusive strip club in the UK. There are no cellphones, cameras, or laptops allowed inside and paparazzi are banned for at least a mile around the club to insure the privacy of not only the celebrities, but also the dancers. Louis doesn’t know why he even looks considering he hasn’t had any contact outside of the club for as long as he remembers. His earliest memory is, HIM. Louis pushes that back as he looks at the ginger looking at him like a piece of meat.

Louis tears his eyes away from the sky box and makes his way over to the resting room where he knows Niall will be. The resting, or lounge, room has water and snacks for the dancers to rehydrate and rest before their other routines. Niall is sitting on one of the couches holding a bag of crisps.

“Lou?” He looks over at Niall holding the bag of crisps out to him. He takes them and eats a couple in a few seconds, then he notices how Niall isn’t eating and sighs.

“Ni, you have to eat.” He says softly knowing that Niall is extremely self-conscious and fragile on the subject of eating and weight.

Niall just looks down at his hands, he can’t help it, he can’t eat and if he does he can’t keep it down. Niall just hates himself even more when he eats even a crisp and hates himself even more when he throws that crisp up knowing that Lou is saddened and disappointed when he does. Niall has tried to eat more, he really did, but no matter how hard he tries to keep it down, he always pukes everything; and now, with the possibility of Niall getting punished for being too skinny and weak, he really needs to.

Louis looks at Niall and sighs again,” Ni, please eat a crisp. Please.” Niall looks up reluctantly and holds out his hand to Lou. Louis places a crisp into his hands. Niall shoves it into his mouth, chews, and swallows quickly. Within seconds he can feel the tiny ball of calories making its way back up his esophagus, and when he goes to get up and to a trash can he feels Louis wrap his arms around Niall’s body and hold Niall’s head to his chest forcing him to stay there and swallow it back down. Shaking, Niall manages to force the calories back into his stomach with the tiny ball feeling like lead in his throat. He then manages a shaky and weak smile to his best friend.

Louis gives Niall a kind smile, which seems to calm Ni down a little; but, Louis does not believe, for a second, that this is the start of his best friend’s recovery. Not at all.

“Hey, wanna go play foosball with Ash? He offered before the show, saying he was taking tonight off.” Niall perks up at the idea of games.

“Will you come too, Lou?” Ni asks pulling on one of Lou’s jumpers.

“When the show is over, okay?” Niall nods and they wait the last few minutes of Ashton’s individual dance in silence just staring at their hands.

Louis walks out to his individual dance, his tan loin cloth swapped out with a sparkly, pink loin cloth. As ‘masculine’ as Louis is, he feels oddly comfortable and pretty. He starts out swinging onto a pole, like in the group dance, but as he is spinning he flings himself off of the pole and swings back onto the vine (rope) and swings onto another pole on the opposite side of the stage. Because of his small frame and light weight Louis is able to fly through the air easier than Ash or even Niall. If Louis was a cheerleader he would be the flier. After swinging onto the second pole Louis spins then spreading his legs in the air, basically doing upside down splits. He rights himself and slides down the pole into actual splits. Louis is proud of his flexibility and grins at how naturally he can do the splits. Louis doesn’t dawdle too long going back to his routine of walking around the pole and falling into pushups. A few pushups turn into fucking the floor and winking to the crowd who, Louis now realizes, is cheering as loud as American football fans during the Superbowl. Louis smiles inwardly and goes into perfected choreography that has been tweaked into sex, just sex. Louis ends his individual by strutting back stage shaking his hips provocatively and suggestively.

He goes back to the resting room to see Ashton talking animatedly to Niall while Ni just looks at his hands shrugging occasionally. Louis saves him by alerting Niall of his own individual, Niall thanks Louis quietly as he walks past. Louis doesn’t really do much during Niall’s dance besides hoping he will be okay. Before he knew it Niall was done and the boys finished with Louis and Niall’s pair dance that riles all the ladies up.

The boys are walking back to the lounge room to meet the girlfriends when Louis’ phone goes off. Their work phones are only used when ‘Master’ contacts them about work or clients.

Room 3

☃☃

Louis walks with a tiny limp out of the private bedroom, with no recollection of the past few hours, and back to his own. It’s been a while since Louis has had sex with a man, let alone bottoming for one, and his body is a little rusty in the receiving department. Louis despises his less than manly physique and that, no matter how hard he works out, his body always looks somewhat feminine. He knows that he has a great body that women love to pieces, but he also is feminine enough for men to dominate as well. He felt especially dirty waking up that morning with an overweight, hairy guy with a bald head holding him close to his sweat covered body. Louis had to carefully detached himself from the man, put his clothes back on and left.

Louis goes straight (A/N: Haha) to the bathroom and runs a nice, warm bath to relax his muscles and get rid of the soreness. He puts in some vanilla bath salts and bubbles because why not? Louis would never admit it but he does actually put bubbles on his face and pretends to actually have a beard, sure Louis grows stubble but he never lets it grow into a full on Santa beard.

A migraine starts to form in Louis’ head making him groan, this happens almost every day because of William and Louis is tired of feeling like shit. The only time Louis is free of pain is when William is in control and Louis is unconscious. Yes, Louis is aware of William’s presence, which is uncommon, but only because Niall made him aware of it years ago; and, that is the only reasonable explanation for why Louis has “blackouts” and why he can’t remember having sex in years but waking up with pain in his lower back and arse, or waking up next to many random strangers when he was completely sober.

“Lou?” A quiet voice breaks through the silence along with a small knock on the bathroom door, Niall.

“Yeah Ni?” Louis rinses the bubbles off of his body and quickly shampoos and conditions, rinses, lets the water out, quickly dries and puts on some tight black briefs. He opens the door to a red faced and sobbing Niall, his eyes are rimmed with a bright red, his cheeks stained with shed tears, his cheeks are bright as though they had been slapped, his hair messy and ran through, but the biggest thing that gets to Louis is the fresh, black bruise on Niall’s neck in the shape fingers.

Louis brings Niall into his strong, warm embrace and feels Niall break down in his arms. Niall shakes so violently that Louis has to sit him on the bed in fear that he won’t be able to hold his own weight anymore. Niall’s face is in the crook of Louis’ neck and his tears streaming down Louis’ chest in thin lines leaving stains on his skin.

“Ni?” Niall doesn’t look up but makes a grunt of acknowledgment.

Louis is furious. Not only did someone have a death wish by scaring Niall, but they went as far as to actually harm him. Louis can feel himself ‘blacking out’ and he breathes long and low to stay conscious and focused. He puts his anger aside, which is really fucking hard, to help Niall. Taking another deep breath, Louis manages to pull Niall to the bed  
sitting them both down and waiting for Niall to calm down and talk to him.

Niall sniffles a little before taking a shaky breath, “I worked,” was all Louis could manage to listen to before running out of the room and pushing his body to find the one person he wants to kill right now.

He will fucking kill ‘Master’.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimshaw cheers Harry up and Momma Styles arrives. With a little Lirry mixed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me while I get back into the school spirit -_- BBUUUUUTTTT... I'm super happy to be posting this chapter. I hope you like it :)
> 
> This is again beta'd by my bestie Katelyn
> 
> Thank you again for reading. Comments and kudos are absolutely appreciated!! :)
> 
> Trigger Warning: mentions of drug and alcohol abuse.

_“Harry,” Harry looks up from the puzzle he was doing, a cat family, seeing his Mum standing at his door folding her arms across her chest. “I thought I told you to get ready to meet our new neighbors ten minutes ago.” Harry sighs and gets up leaving the half-finished puzzle to follow his Mum and older sister, Gemma, outside to meet some of the families in the neighborhood they had just moved into._

_Outside there are four families- or at least a six year old Harry assumes- gathered on the lawn of the family next to Harry’s. Harry’s Mum, Anne, introduces him to the Horan-Gallagher family, a family that had moved here from Ireland when their youngest, Niall, had been born, and consists of the mother and stepfather, Maura and Chris Gallagher, and the two sons, Greg and Niall Horan. Harry saw how cautious Greg and especially Niall had been around their new stepfather, and Harry connected pretty well with the chubby Irish boy. The two boys decided to have a playdate later that week, Niall agreed to do anything as long as food was involved which made Harry smile at how carefree he was._

_The next family was the Malik family. This family consisted of the mother and father, Patricia and Yaser Malik, and four kids: Doniya, Zain, Waliyha, and Safaa. The sisters were nice enough, but Harry was still awkward around girls, that aren’t Gemma, and Zain kind of stayed away from everyone._

_The Payne family was so domestic. Just a perfect, white picket fence family. They consisted of the mother and father, Geoff and Karen, and the three children Nicola, Ruth, and Liam. The whole family was very nice and welcoming, and he and Liam had gotten along pretty well but only talking for a few minutes._

_The most memorable family, though, was the Tomlinson family. The mother, Jay who was also holding a toddler named Charlotte, and the stepfather, Mark, seemed really nice and invited Harry’s family to dinner the next evening. But Louis, the loud and rambunctious boy who introduced himself by throwing a water balloon at Harry’s face, it had hurt and the wet little six year old Harry cried like someone had taken his favorite toy and destroyed it. His mum and Gemma surrounded him trying to comfort the little boy while Louis had a smug look on his face while being scolded by Jay. When Harry looked back at Louis, the older boy just threw him a toothy smile and skipped back to his house._

_**That was Harry’s first encounter with Louis Tomlinson.**_

Harry got up from his position hours later sauntering back downstairs cautiously hoping Liam isn’t still to mad at him, not that Harry cares or anything.

When Harry gets to his living room, its silent, and he notices that only his shoes are by the door, they left. Harry shrugs it off and walks into the kitchen and sees a note:

 _Harry,_

_I’m sorry for upsetting you, I won’t apologize for what I said though because you needed to hear it at some point. I left you the food we made in the microwave just heat it up for about a minute and a half. Btw we have an interview at three with Alan, the car will be there at 2:30. Love you mate, Liam._

And another note right next to it:

_Haz,_

_Please don’t be too mad at him mate, like me he wants what is best for you. We know that you need to talk to someone but maybe Lotts isn’t the best person because she is so closely related to him. Like I said we want you to be happy. Please talk to Liam, you guys have more in common about this than you think. Love you too man, Zayn._

Harry disregards both notes as he walks back upstairs, gets dressed and leaves no longer hungry.

Nick Grimshaw is good for many things, and cheering Harry up is one of those things. He takes Harry to a club to get drunk and, hopefully, get laid. Harry has already had ten vodka shots and its only 1:30 in the afternoon. He doesn’t even know why Grimmy brought him to a club when they could have gotten drunk at his flat but Harry is too drunk to care at the moment about anything, including the interview he has in about two hours. Harry dances with a pretty blond grinding against her arse as she moans dramatically which was boner kill and Harry tries to find someone less desperate. He only succeeds in going back to the bar for another vodka.

About an hour later Harry has danced with pretty much all of the club and Nick took him to the VIP room where he was currently sharing a joint with Nick and some sexy birds. One of the girls was all up in his lap sucking his dick like a porn star while the other was getting fucked by Nick who had just taken the joint back after Harry’s drag. The scandalously dressed girl stopped sucking his member and was now putting a condom on him while taking off the little amount of clothes she had on. She sat on his dick riding Harry so he didn’t have to do anything, too high to really do anything. It felt good, sure, but it only made Harry feel even more hollow and empty. By the time a high Nick drove a drunk and equally high Harry home, surprisingly in one piece, it was already five.

When Harry and Nick stumbled in Harry’s flat they both sobered up pretty quickly with the sight of a pissed off Liam and a disappointed Zayn. 

“Mate, imma go ‘ome now.” Nick scurried out of there as quickly as he could because he learned very quickly not to mess with Liam when he’s pissed after he put a huge dent in the wall at Zayn’s when Nick had tried to molest Zayn. Harry had invited him over to the band’s little get together after their second album dropped and, Nick had been feeling Zayn up when he thought no one was looking but Liam had and punched the wall next to Nick warning him to never hurt either of his bandmates or he would actually punch him which is pretty terrifying when you look at his muscles.

Harry only spared Liam a glance as he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water but, Zayn beat him to it and gave him some painkillers as well.

“Thanks mate.”

“You’ll need it.” Harry knew exactly what that meant as he sat in a chair across from a fuming Liam. Harry just looked at the half empty glass in his hands instead of his “mate” the condensation rolling down it slowly.

“Can you get on with the lecturing instead of just sitting there wasting my sleeping time?” Harry was surprised at just how dark his own voice sounded, how empty and cracked it was. Liam looked up with red rimmed eyes and muscles tense.

“I’m not going to lecture you Haz.” Harry looked at him in disbelief, why? Harry knew how to deal with lecturing but had no idea how to deal with a broken Liam. Li had always been the strong one who he and Zayn would go to when they broke down but, Harry realizes that he had never seen Liam break down or cry, not since they found out about the kidnapping.

“But, I-”

“Just let me talk for a minute, okay?” Harry nods and Liam continues. “I’m in love with Niall.” Harry was not expecting that, at all. “I think I’ve always loved him but, it took him getting kidnapped and many years of dating people who couldn’t satisfy me to finally realize it. But, when I realized it after we got put together after the X Factor, I talked to Greg. He hit me when I told him about it, he said that it was my fault his little brother is probably dead and it is, it’s my fault because I suggested it to Lou and he executed the plan. We never meant for it to be dangerous, we just wanted to scare the lot of you.” Liam scoffs and continues, “But when Niall wasn’t behind us I was too scared to go back because I had heard crunching occasionally behind us so, Lou went and I can’t believe I was so stupid!” Liam grabs his hair and starts pulling to hurt himself as he remembers his old stupidity. Harry goes over to his other side and hugs him with Zayn. “I just don’t want you to get hurt when you finally realize he’s gone Haz, they’re never coming back and it’s all my fault. I’m just so sorry. I can’t hold it in anymore Hazza, I can’t pretend like the guilt isn’t killing me every second.”

Harry just holds Liam as he cries while trying to digest the information. He hates himself for forgetting about everyone else’s feeling and pitying himself think he had it hard but, Liam felt the same things except he had to hold in the guilt of two boys kidnapping, destroying two families and on top of that staying strong and holding in his feelings for his and Zayn’s sake. He allowed both Harry and Zayn to relax and feel because Liam would always be there when they fall.

“Mate, I’m so- god I’m so fucking sorry. I mean I’ve been whining and complaining when I could have been there for you, like you’ve been for me so many fucking times and, I just, I’m so fucking sorry Li.” Harry hasn’t really been known to bare his heart often, only when everything piles up and he can’t help but just break down. Liam wipes his face with some tissues that Zayn had somehow gotten while his two mates had broken down and reconciled with each other and, Liam has never been more grateful for Zayn’s calm disposition than in times like this when he can’t.

“I’m gonna go back to my flat and call Paul, get us a break because I think right now you two could use it.” The two boy banders silently thanked Zayn as he hurried out of Harry’s flat. Harry didn’t really know what to do now because he had never dealt with Liam or Zayn breaking down on him so, he grabbed his phone and ordered some takeaway for them because it was already dinnertime.

“You know Haz,” Harry looked at Liam whose face changed from sad to disapproving very quickly, “you missed a pretty important promotional interview today.” Harry mentally slapped himself for forgetting something like an interview, even though Harry doesn’t really care for much of anything besides drugs and sex lately he still loves his job and makes it a point to make sure he doesn’t slack off. Harry hates himself for not only letting his mum, Liam, and Zayn down but also his fans and everyone else who helps him with his job like Lou and Paul.

“Sorry I just-” he takes a deep sigh, “I have no excuse for it, sorry mate.” Liam was about to say something else when the doorbell rings and he instead gets up to grab their food and some eating utensils. He sits back down and gives Harry his orange chicken and fried rice while settling with his fried rice with shrimp and spring rolls.

“I know you’re upset and never really got any closure but maybe getting drunk and high with Grimshaw isn’t really the best way to go about this. I mean your reputation has gone so far down people are starting to think you’ll be Hollywood’s next train wreck to crash and burn. I love you mate and I want what’s best for you so, I kinda called your mum and had her come down.” Surprisingly Harry wasn’t upset with Liam for calling his mum like Harry was a child that couldn’t take care of himself but, he is silently glad that he did because Harry knows he would never have called her on his own. Harry feels like he’s let her down so much and he’s just too ashamed of himself and prideful to call her. He thinks it may be a good thing to talk to someone who knows you almost better than you know yourself.

“Thanks mate.” Liam smiles and they leave it at that.

In the next few hours Harry and Liam reconnected and had some quality bonding time that they truly needed. They both took for granted their friendship. By the time Anne arrives Harry and Liam are asleep, Harry has his head in Liam’s lap with his giraffe legs tucked under himself in an attempt to be small enough to fit on the couch but, it failed and his body is a few moments from falling off. Liam is sitting upright with one hand on Harry as though he was petting his hair, something Harry has always found very soothing which is why Anne used to do it often to get him to fall asleep as a child, and Liam’s other hand was tightly gripping his phone with his knuckles turning white from the pressure. Anne cooed at the sight, she had assumed the worst when Liam had called earlier in complete distress hoping she would be able to consult Harry and get him back to the boy he used to be or at least as close as possible. Of course Anne worried every day for Harry, hell he is always in the gossip rags and telly for something whether it be drugs, girls or his career, but even if he was some normal teenage boy she would still worry every second because she loves him and wants him to stay in the nest, under her protection forever. Sadly, one way or another he would leave and share his gift with the world. Anne had always known Harry would be somebody because he was a naturally charming boy with a gift and presence that made you want to listen to every slow word he uttered.

Harry stirred in his sleep and Anne decided to let him sleep before she started the interrogation so, she grabbed two blankets and gently covered each boy as she went to the kitchen to make some tea.

Harry woke up from the impact of falling on the floor, he groaned and tried to go back to sleep where he was when he smelled a very familiar vanilla fragrance. Mum. Harry got up quickly but was quick to almost fall back over as a wave of vertigo washed over him.

“Oh Sweetie, calm down I’m not going anywhere.” With that Harry slowly got up; and, there she was, his mum. The one he respected above anyone, the one he first cried to about Louis and his heartbreak, the one he first came out to, the one who supported his dreams and told him “you can do it” whenever he thought he couldn’t, the one who helped Harry search for Louis and Niall for three years, the one who honestly told him about the kidnapping, the one who would fight the monsters in his room so he could sleep soundly, the one who yelled at every administrator when he was bullied in school, the one who loves him more than anyone else does.

“Mum,” he starts tearing up and Anne rushes to her son wrapping him in a comforting hug, the ones he would frequently get growing up and the ones he needs most of all when he’s sad. They stand in silence just holding each other for a while before Liam snores loud enough to break their moment making the duo giggle.

“So, you want to tell me what’s going on?” Anne says as she seats them down in Harry’s room, Harry sitting on his bed while Anne opts for the swivel chair. Harry doesn’t really know what to say so, he stays quiet.

“Okay, let me rephrase that. What are you feeling right now?” Anne’s calm demeanor stops the shaking in Harry’s body. She isn’t here to yell at you, Harry tells himself.

“Happy… Because you’re here.” A small smile plays on both their lips.

“Okay, now how did you feel earlier today?” That one is harder, not that he didn’t know what he was feeling it’s just that he felt a lot of things that he doesn’t really want to tell his mum yet.

“Sad, angry, empty.” That sums most of it.

“You know, I know quite a bit about losing someone you love dearly. Not in the same way you did of course but, in essence I know the heartbreak. The feeling that you could have done better, been better just done something different to change the inevitable outcome. Splitting with Des was one of the hardest things I have ever done because I’ve loved him since my early teenage years and having him cheat on me with two kids and ten years of marriage under my belt was so blindsiding, I thought we could work through it you know? But no matter what I would have done it would not have changed his heart or anything really, I’m not telling you to forget him Harry but you need to think of yourself right now. You are not okay and you know that. You need to get better and happier because a lot of people are effected by you like your family, friends, and fans. We all love you with all of our hearts and to see you declining so quickly just breaks not only mine but a lot of people’s hearts. I love you Harry. Never forget that, no matter what you do, I will never stop loving you as much as I do right now and as much as I ever have.” Harry’s heart swells, his mum still loves him and doesn’t hate him for his choices. Harry hates what he’s become but, it’s just so damn hard to stop when he feels so shitty every day like it would be better to just end it all sometimes. He’s too weak to take his life, he wants to at least see Lou one last time before he goes, and that is what keeps his pathetic life going. 

“I just miss him mum. Like I feel like all this time I’ve been on autopilot and going through life just to see him once again.” Anne hates how dependent Harry is on Louis but, sadly it truly reminds her of herself only years ago begging Des not to leave her after he had cheated. How pathetic, she thought remembering her earlier actions. 

“Sweetie, have you ever thought that, if he is still alive, he would be like the way you’re living? Would he want you to throw your life away for him?” Harry stopped breathing. What? He never thought of it that way, how could he be so stupid? Of course Lou would be sad to see Harry like this. Harry grabs his hair in an attempt to hurt himself but, Anne gently touched his arm warning him no to. 

“Hun, don’t.” Harry just cried as Anne got up cradling Harry’s head against her chest, another comfort Harry has missed dearly. They just stayed like that for another few minutes before they hear Liam padding up the stairs. 

“Haz, I’m going ba- oh Anne, hello.” Anne waves at Liam and he says his goodbyes and reminding him of the meeting they have in a few hours before closing the door as he leaves. Anne chuckles before putting a slight distance between her and her son.

“Well, let’s get you ready for some hardcore lecturing.” And Harry just smiles.

Like promised Harry is in an uncomfortable chair sitting across from his management team. Harry never bothered to remember their names or jobs so he is just sitting there while douchebag #1 is reprimanding him for his “incessant unprofessionalism.” Zayn and Liam are on either side mentally rolling their eyes at their useless lecturing. If Harry was going to change for anyone it would be either Anne or Louis.

“I mean could you have handled your issues any worse? Not only are there pictures of you drinking and smoking but, someone got a recording of you having sex with some random bird!” Well, that’s awkward.

“Listen Harvey, I know Harry’s behavior lately has gotten progressively worse but-” Harry could tell Liam was 100% done with their shit as well and was trying to calm “Harvey” so they could leave already. 

“No Liam, this has not only gotten worse, it has ruined not only Harry’s reputation but the band’s as well. Our research team has seen a significant stop in record sales yesterday. People are shocked and angry at you Harry, they feel betrayed like your actions apparently directly affect them, but nonetheless we have a proposal for you Harold.” Harry hates how that name falls off his tongue considering that’s not even his name. 

“Don’t call me that.” Harry is shocked at how dark his tone is, something he seems to think a lot lately, and Harvey visibly flinches. 

“Anyways, we are willing to give you that break you desire but…” God Harry hates this guy.

“But?” Then douchebag #2 decides to speak up.

“But, you will be given a girl to date immediately prior to said break.” Liam and Zayn stiffen next to Harry but, he is used to dating random models to satisfy everyone else’s desires.

“Whatever, who will it be this time? Supermodel? B-list celebrity? A fan maybe?” Their team rolls their eyes at Harry’s not so subtle attitude, like he cares anyways. 

“Taylor Swift, actually.” Harry cocks an eyebrow, really? Little miss Taylor I’m-gonna-write-a-song-after-we-break-up-so-people-feel-bad-for-me Swift. Nice. 

“Okay. How long do I have to date her for?”

“Until she breaks up with you. We will not have you break her heart and have your reputation go lower because of her song.” Great, just great. So Harry has to play along until she gets bored with him? That shouldn’t be too hard since her attention span with guys is almost as short as Harry’s is with girls. 

“You have a two week break, then you will go to an A-list party that Taylor is attending and charm her into dating you. I’ve been told by her PR team that she refuses to date someone for publicity, how naïve. So she will believe that you guys are actually dating but, then again you are good at stringing girls along, aren’t you Harry?” Harry really wants to punch these guys.

“Whatever.” He signs the necessary contract before leaving, Liam and Zayn hot on his heels. The ride home was silent (shocking) and uncomfortable. 

“Let’s go out to eat.” Liam suggests to lighten the mood.

“I don’t think that is a good idea, everyone hates us because of me, remember?” Liam sighs. No matter what he says Harry will still hate himself.

“Harry please, you know that isn’t true. People are just shocked, okay? They’ll come around.” Harry doesn’t say anything in response and Liam just goes back to driving. So no food then, Liam thinks to himself.

Harry gets to his home to his room and strips down to his pants and crawls into bed clutching his old, tattered bracelet for dear life. 

_The day after meeting Louis Tomlinson, Harry was curled in his bed with his duvet acting as a barrier between him and the world. He didn’t know why the boy had to be so mean but, Harry just thought he would never see him again so he allowed himself to relax. However, Anne called Harry and he padded down the stairs softly in his giraffe pajamas stopping at the sight in front of him. Louis Tomlinson. The boy who scared Harry so much he had a nightmare about him throwing water balloons at him and Harry ended up drowning._

_“Hiya! Ma names Louis. Pronounced Lou-ie.” Louis holds his hand out to the younger lad who runs behind his mum’s legs. Harry sees Louis look confused at his actions and Jay (Louis’ mum) pull Louis aside to talk to him. About a minute or so later Louis comes back to Harry with a sad look in his eyes._

_“I’m sorry Haz for scaring you. I didn’t mean it. I just do that to everyone but, I didn’t know I hurt you too.” Louis started crying and Harry suddenly had this urge to comfort him. So, Harry went over to the older boy and hugged him as hard as he could and Louis hugged back._

_**Since that moment the two boys would have an unbreakable bond, linking their hearts and souls together forever.**_


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEEXXXXX, Niall looks back at his past, Louis and Eleanor talk, and a suprise at the end ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOOBEAR!!!!!!! Today my baby (and Harry's) was born and I cannot be more thankful, Louis is my favorite Christmas present :) And with all of the glorious Larry moments that have happened in the past few months this has been the most bountiful Christmas yet :] 
> 
> Anywho, here is the next chapter, I hope you guys like it. This was also beta'd by Katelyn. It's about twice as long as normal (7k). 
> 
> Have a Merry Christmas, and a happy holidays for what ever you celebrate :) :) :)
> 
> Oh, I do not own One Direction (if I did Harry and Louis would be out and proud) and do not accurately portray the boys or their families, I just used their personalities and names for my own twisted fantasies ;)
> 
> Trigger Warning: (there is a lot) rape/non con, blood/knife play, bullying, suicidal thoughts, and mentions of eating disorders.

_“Welcome to your new home boys.” Master said stopping the car in front of a gigantic building. The building was really big and intimidating but Louis would never back down, never again. It was a sleek, black building with large doors and an equally large man guarding it. The man was really big, in comparison to the skinny little sixteen year old, with a bald head and tattoos covering every inch of his large body. The man nodded to ‘master’, as he was to be called by Louis and Niall, and Louis holds Niall’s hand tightly as Master leads the duo to their new “home.” They were then lead to a large room with lots of couches and books on dusty shelves that Louis thought was a pity. Inside the room were a few kids his age and older, and a lot of middle aged men checking them out as Louis and Niall made their way in. The kids however looked at them with worry and some with hatred which were mostly the oldest looking ones. Louis shook their looks off as he and Niall were introduced to ‘donors’ and other important men whose names he forgot a few seconds later. Louis then noticed the pretty girl sitting with another pretty girl and both looked to be Louis’ age. He strode up to them with Niall in tow._

_“Hello loves, me’ names Louis. Louis Tomlinson.” He holds his hand out for the one of the cute girls in front of him. If Louis wasn’t already in love with someone he would go after her, with her wavy, brunette hair framing her heart shaped face and warm brown eyes and a cute button_ _nose. She also has a shy demeanor that makes her even cuter and makes Louis want to protect her like with Niall. She shyly takes Louis’ hand and gives him a small shake._

_“Eleanor Calder.”_

“William?” Niall watched as Louis stilled and his eyes darkened to the point his eyes were almost black and all his features became lax and indifferent. William. His eyes land on Niall and the very fresh bruises littering the Irishman’s pale skin. He calmly puts on some clothes and grabs a blanket to wrap Niall up in on his bed. William sends a text to Eleanor asking her to keep Niall company for a while. When El arrives only a minute or so later, Will makes his way quickly to a room he knows very well.

He doesn’t even knock just forces his way in which isn’t too hard considering it’s unlocked. There the bastard is sitting in his large, expensive leather chair just waiting for William. His eyes are smirking. HIS EYES ARE SMIRKING! This pisses William off even more just knowing that the twisted bastard would do this to Niall to bring out William. See William knows he is Master’s favorite, he is the most perfectly imperfect tool who is amazing at what he does but only does it when he wants so, Master tries to bring him out as often as possible to bring in more money. But Louis won’t usually let him out, however this is different.

“Hello Will, how are you?” William doesn’t answer him.

Master stands up and goes to his “Fun Wall” grabbing his leather whip and William freezes. His hands immediately hold his stomach where he has a few very faint scars littered across the expanse of his stomach and back. He remembers clear as day how he got each and very mark scattered about his body, he could tell you a story about what events lead up to the scars, how Master did them and everything that happened afterwards. He could tell you about each and every toy Master has on his wall and how it feels in great detail. See, Louis has a habit of being very protective over people he likes despite still being a scared little boy; maybe it’s his older brother instincts kicking in but, William would do anything to protect his loved ones, including taking punishments for them, Louis especially. He has taken so many beatings for Niall and quite a few for Eleanor and even one or two for Danielle and Ashton, but Louis needs his presence and protection more than he will ever know or even be able to comprehend. He considers himself quite strong compared to the others and in turn believes he should be the one to be hurt. Everyone in this place is hurt in one way or another like Louis’ and William’s scars or Niall and his eating disorder or Eleanor and her anxiety or Danielle and her alcoholism or Ashton and his paranoia.  

“Willy.” Master breaks Will out of his thoughts and realizes Master took off William’s shirt and he was now laying on the cold tile floor of the office. Master takes his favorite leather bullwhip from the wall and cracks it down repeatedly over his body causing a burning sensation over his body and pink marks appear over his skin but Master doesn’t want to go too far, yet. William feels that normal sense of light headedness and a migraine that accompanies his presence and he knows he can’t stay for too long or it will cause too much mental damage to Louis, so he does what he came here for.

“You broke your promise, bastard.” Master puts the whip back and grabs the lube, a condom and some rope.

“I didn’t actually. You see, you didn’t make enough to cover Niall this time so I sent him to work a little after you to get him back into swing of things. Don’t worry, I gave him Ed. Nice guy with a lot of money to spend.” Master ties up William’s wrists to a hook in the wall specifically for this purpose, and William is in too much pain to fight off the stronger male.

“You sick fuck, I earned enough. You lying cunt!” William screams as Master suddenly shoves two fingers in William’s tight heat dry. His arse burns as Master feels the need to try and fit a third in dry as well, and the tears William so desperately tried to hold in fell out rapidly.

“Oh Willy, is Daddy hurting you? If you promise to be a good boy Daddy will use the lube.” Will can only send him his most hateful glare as he nods submissively. Master smirks and pulls his fingers out drizzling them generously in lube then shoving all three back in and even adding a fourth. Master is more about foreplay than actually fucking people, he likes to torture them rather than give them pleasure. Luckily, William is still stretched from last night so the burn isn’t as bad as it could’ve been. He purposely avoids William’s prostate so he can’t have any pleasure from his punishment, yet, and William feels blood on his palms from where he was digging his nails into his skin and the pain from his hand slightly distracts him from the growing pain in his arsehole.

Master pulls his long fingers out of Will and he breathes a sigh of relief before something longer and thicker than his fingers is being shoved into him and William screams. Then it starts vibrating. Master keeps the large vibrator on medium speed while he goes back to the “Fun Wall” and grabs his flogger. By this point William is on the verge of crying in pain, but when Master brings the flogger down, hard on his left cheek, he loses it and sobs.

This is what Master has been waiting for.

William knows making people cry gives the bastard pleasure, much more than having sex will. He remembers having to watch Aiden’s punishment when he first got adopted, he remembers having to watch that just so Louis didn’t, he remembers the way Aiden begged and begged for hours for it to stop which only spurred him on more, he remembers the way Aiden’s arse bled from the constant abuse, he remembers the blissed out and horny look Master had the entire time, but he never knew why Aiden was punished in the first place. Aiden was later sold and never heard from again.

William hates himself for being weak, and he hates Louis for bring him into this world; however, he hates all of the demented people that make this world cruel more than anything.

Master uses the flogger until William’s arse is a bright red, extremely sensitive, and in a lot of pain. As Master looks upon his beautiful work William looks back to see he is pulling down his slacks and unbuttoning his crisp shirt. He feels Master pull out the vibrator as his hole clenches around nothing and William suddenly feels empty. As much as he hates being used like a toy William loves sex, a lot.

“Ready Willy?”

“Always, you sick fuck.”

Master pulls his well-endowed member out of his expensive trousers making William cringe as Master forces his way into William quickly and with little preparation. William has to at least admit that Master is talented as he quickly locates William’s prostate making him insanely hard, but Master still has him tied up so his dick got little to no friction. William whimpered and Master smirked at how easy it was to tame the beast that was William Tomlinson. He increased his rhythm and just pounded into Will, but Master wasn’t going to just beat William with his dick, no he was going to milk this for all it’s worth with all William’s known kinks.

Master pulled out slowly making Will shake in pleasure, and he made his way to his specialty bag marked **_William._** Once back to the violent bottom he pulled out a shampoo bottle pretty large in girth and a blindfold. Master blindfolded William intensifying the feeling of the lubricated bottle being thrust into William’s tight hole. He screamed but was cut short by Master’s rough hands cutting off his oxygen supply. Master tightened his hold on William’s throat but not enough to kill the fucker. William was in a state of ecstasy feeling the foreign object in his arse, blindfolded while being choked out, three of his biggest kinks. He tried to rub against something to get some friction on his throbbing member but to no avail. Master was getting pleasure just watching William struggle out of his hold, and released his grip quickly grabbing the knife out of his bag.

Master pulled out the bottle and placed it back in the bag and waited. William got nervous when everything stilled and he was wrapped in darkness no hearing a sound except some shuffling around. Suddenly he felt the skin of his tummy being sliced open immediately causing him to come dry with a broken sob. Maser cut the skin of William’s stomach a total of ten times before stopping, putting the knife back as well and rubbing the beads of blood escaping the cuts across his tummy and gathering some up and shoving his bloodied finger in William’s mouth. William moaned at the metallic taste of his blood and the feeling of the pain being replaced with pleasure because of his body trying to heal itself. He loves this, the pain, the pleasure, and everything in between.

Master removed the blindfold as the spell was broken and William remembered it is Master making him feel good, complete boner kill right there.

“Well now Will this isn’t good. I’m not that ugly, am I?” William glares at Master seeing as he is fucking handsome as fuck, but William would be the last to feed Master’s ego.

“Yeah, get out of my sight you ugly fuck!” Master smirked knowing just how attractive he is.

“Oh William, you say the sweetest things.” Fuck. William just averts his gaze and gets up shakily from the pain in his arse and abdomen. Master smiles and hands William some antibiotic cream and bandages before walking out of the room. Bastard, William thinks to himself as he bandaged himself up and preparing to sleep for-fucking-ever.

Niall sat on Louis’ bed after William left contemplating his stupid decision to run crying to Louis because he finally started having to pull his own weight (not that there is very much anymore), he hated that he brought Will out with his stupid problems. The thing is though, Niall remembers everything from the moment he was kidnapped to the slavery to the adoption until now; Louis however, was blessed with the ability to forget, with William. Every time William made an appearance Louis wouldn’t have to remember it, he couldn’t remember it which made Niall so jealous because he is constantly tormented by the ghosts of his past. That’s why he starves himself, so he has control of something unlike the memories, nightmares, and his life in general. His life is one constant drain, swirling and spiraling out of control until that one day when he loses it and falls down that drain into the abyss of death. Niall wouldn’t consider himself suicidal per say he just wouldn’t mind dying and being at peace for once in his miserable life. Even before the kidnapping Niall was unhappy, he was constantly tormented by his brother and the other kids at school who would call him crude names like fatty, pig, disgusting twat, and just making his life a living hell. Niall started eating to feel happy after his parents’ divorce then more when Bobby came into their lives; the divorce also started Greg’s anger towards everything especially Niall who reminded him of life before the divorce which spurred his violence toward Niall. The only real light in his life was Louis and Liam the only two people who accepted him for who he was and didn’t care that he ate all the time and tried their best to make Niall enjoy life. Louis, who first brought him into his little twosome with Liam and showed him how to tie his shoes and fight (kind of). Liam, who would always sit with Niall in class and protect him from bullies whenever he could and would always share his candy with Niall when he was sad. It’s not that Niall dislikes Zayn and Harry, it’s just Zayn kind of stayed away from people whenever possible (which was hard with a friend like Louis) and Harry couldn’t really do anything for Niall when he was following Louis’ every step like the loyal pup he was (is?).

Louis with his abundance of light and energy lighting up Niall’s world and showing him the way in the pursuit of happiness, and Liam with his strength and protectiveness that protected the world Louis lit up with the fierceness of guard dog and the heart of a puppy. So with his abundant love for Louis, why would Niall hurt him by hurting himself? Because as much as he loves Louis, Niall knows he will die the second he loses the small bit of control he has on his pathetic life. He can’t lose it, it is the only bit of stability he has left since eventually Louis will leave and Niall will be as alone as he feels. Niall knows that the reason William was created by Louis’ mind was because he was too weak to fight back, to do something other than sit back while Louis gets raped right in front of him to protect him. Now Louis has it in his mind that he has to protect Niall no matter what even though Niall is perfectly capable of protecting himself, he is just too much of a twat to.

Niall falls asleep curled into a tight ball in the middle of Louis’ bed sore with tear streaks staining his tired face.

_“Hey fatty, no four course meal today?” Tommy, the leader of Niall’s tormentors, towers over Niall’s sitting form with two of his little followers, John and Sam, standing behind him as Niall sits alone eating his sandwich for lunch. His mum wanted him to lose a little weight so she packed his lunch with fruits, vegetables and a small sandwich usually Niall makes his own lunch so he fills it with snack items instead. Niall frowns at his turkey sandwich and puts it back in his Irish Flag lunchbox, he’d rather eat in the toilets than in front of his bullies.  As Niall goes to stand up Tommy grabs the front of Niall’s shirt, pulling him up to Tommy’s height._

_“I was talking to you, fat twat.” Niall avoids Tommy’s eyes which seems to make the boy even angrier. He drags Niall over by the trash bins and throws him on the floor, hard. Then, before Niall realizes that Tommy has already made his move, the entire trash bin is being emptied over Niall’s head by John and Sam. Niall instantly breaks out crying not caring that everyone is now staring at him looking at him with pity in their eyes. He feels the disgusting milk and other beverages soaking through his clothes, and the half eaten food permeating his clothes and making Niall feel utterly disgusting and humiliated._

_“Let go of me!” Niall stops crying enough to hear Tommy screaming at someone, Niall looks up to see Louis holding Tommy up by the front of his shirt while Liam has each hand holding the front of John and Sam’s shirt simultaneously holding them against one of the cafeteria’s walls. Tommy is struggling to get free looking pathetic and weak against Louis. Zayn is silently helping Niall clean the trash off himself trying to avoid confrontation at all costs. Niall nods to Zayn as he runs over to Louis and Liam telling them to let the boys go._

_“Why Nialler? They are only getting what they deserve. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t she Li?” Liam nods still glaring at dumb and dumber who are also pathetically trying to get away, Liam is surprisingly strong for a year 2 and no year 2 would mess with a year 3. As friendly as Lou is, no one wants to make him angry because Louis can be quite scary when he wants to be._

_“Lou, Li. Please?” Tears make their way down Niall’s cheeks and the two boys sigh before letting go._

_“Yeah that’s right. Listen to fatty and run away like a scared little twat.” Niall has to physically grab both Louis and Liam to stop them from hitting Tommy who Niall can see is shaking slightly. Pitiful, Niall thinks as he drags his best friends away._

_The four boys walk to a more secluded area of the cafeteria and on the opposite side of the room from Tommy._

_“I’m sorry we were late Ni, Leeyum was finishing work and I was my perfect self, waiting like the amazing friend I am for our slow little Lili. Zayn was reading in library for some reason.” Louis is incredibly smart but is more of a kick-a-ball-around-and-wrestle-and-get-dirty-playing-sports kind of guy who thinks studying is for nerds and Louis is “not a nerd just perfect in every way” (his words completely)._

_“Whatever Lou.” Liam punches Louis who pouts rubbing the spot like it actually hurt and Niall smiles fondly. Zayn has already fallen asleep._

_“I wish I could do that.” Louis pouts harder and takes the carrots from Niall’s lunchbox and throws one at Zayn’s sleeping form that doesn’t even stir._

_“Don’t we all.” Liam says fondly looking at his best friends._

_Niall felt content for once in a very long time._

Louis wakes up to landing on something soft with voices talking in the background feeling anything but refreshed. He opens his eyes to the harsh light trying to adjust. Once he regains his vision he notices first of all that his arse hurts like bloody hell, and that he isn’t alone. Louis’ first reflex is to curl into himself which is exactly what he does and not having the consciousness to see what it is in the room, he just panicked. A hand soothingly rubs his back patiently waiting for Louis’ panic attack to calm down. It takes a few minutes but Louis finally comes to, and still groggy from having William present for what Louis believes must have been a while considering his whole body is in pain yet he is in a state of fuzzy euphoria. Another set of hands runs through Louis’ hair in a soothing way.

“You back Babe?” Eleanor’s clear feminine voice rings clear to the jaded boy and Louis nods. Louis wills his eyes open again this time recognizing Eleanor in front of him petting his hair, and Louis twists uncomfortably around to see Niall on his other side rubbing his back and giving him a bright smile.

“How long was I out?” Eleanor visibly saddens.

“Two days.” Louis sits up too fast and instantly regrets it when vertigo hits him and Louis falls back into Niall’s arms.

“Sorry Ni.” Niall just shrugs and helps Louis settle in a sitting position.

“So what happen while I was out?” This time Eleanor shrugs, stands up, and goes somewhere on the other side of the room while Niall resumes rubbing Louis’ back. Eleanor comes back with a cup of what looks like coffee and two cups of tea.

“No sugar with a little bit of milk.” Louis takes the cup and thanks Eleanor. The tea perfectly tailored to Louis’ tastes. This is why if Louis and Eleanor were straight they would probably be dating. Louis can only date people who make his tea the same way he does, perfectly.

“So Babes, what happened while I was role playing Sleeping Beauty?” Eleanor just looks at her thumb circling the rim of the mug.

“I think you two have some things to talk about, so ‘m gonna see if Ash is awake.” And just like that Niall was gone.

They sat in silence for a while just kind of sorting through their feelings before Eleanor puts her mug on the nightstand and settles into Louis’ side, Louis wrapping his arm around her petite body. Louis wonders how bad it is outside his room for Eleanor and Niall to both be uncomfortable. Eleanor is known for her anxiety and Niall is just awkward around everything new to him.

“The newbies came yesterday.” Oh.

_“Eleanor Calder”_

_Louis and Eleanor talk for hours while Niall just sat at Louis’ side assessing everyone and everything making sure nothing looks too suspicious. Louis on the other hand enjoying Eleanor’s company successfully distracting his mind from the terrifying new place._

_“Hey newbies! This way!” A young female around twenty or so called over to Louis and Niall. Master had told them once they got to their new “home” they would be put through training that was the only thing Master actually said to them since he and Louis met at the park. Louis didn’t know what kind of training but he had a faint feeling he wouldn’t like it._

_They said their goodbyes to Elliepie (Louis’ new nickname for her as Loubear is for him)  and Louis looked back to see Eleanor’s sullen look back on her face, so he ran back over to her and squeezed the living daylights out of the shocked girl._

_“I’ll be back.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

_That promise was never broken._

“Oh.” Was all Louis could really get out, and he never really did figured out why Eleanor hated every newbie that came in like Ashton and some of the others that were let go like Aiden.

“Yeah. It’s that time of year again.” They didn’t get as many newbies as one would expect usually only once a year or so depending on who Master finds. Louis feels bad for them knowing they will be put through at least a year of training before they even step onto the stage. Niall had to spend an extra six months in training because he was really bad at memorizing the steps while Louis finished about a month or two earlier than expected because his “natural talent.” Dancing had always come naturally to Louis, he remembered that he would dance in the kitchen with his mom every time she allowed him to help make dinner. They would spin around to music and Jay would even teach him some dance steps from some her favorite boy band songs if she was making something like stew that took hours of waiting.

“Why don’t you like the newbies very much?” She shrugged but Louis wasn’t having any of it.

“Just bad memories I guess.” Shrugging for about the tenth time since Louis woke up. Louis rolls his eyes dramatically because quite frankly Eleanor is starting to piss him off.

“I just um, I gotta go see if Danielle is done helping train the newbies.” Louis grabs her arm so she can’t just leave and avoid this talk.

“Please? Elliepie?”

“Fuck!” She yells dramatically throwing her hands in the air and widening her eyes. Louis looks fondly at her and shakes his head.

“Ok, so I never really told you about my past, right?” Louis nods.

_Eleanor walked away from the posh all girls Saint Vincent Preparatory School at an ungodly late hour because of her stupid cheer captain and student council president duties, and not to mention the other various clubs she had joined and the honor roll that kept her later at school than most of her peers because of her parents’ wishes for her to become valedictorian and get tons of scholarships to some of the most prestigious universities in Europe. It’s not like she needed the scholarships, her parents could easily afford to send her to even the most expensive universities, but her parents prided themselves on her intelligence and athleticism so they made her work to get into a university which Eleanor didn’t mind doing. Eleanor wasn’t very snobby, like her peers who thought they were the cream of the crop, and enjoyed working hard for the things she wanted. Eleanor just wanted a break every once in a while._

_You see, Eleanor’s father owned a chain of posh hotels and her mother was a very successful model and actress. They wanted to be able to show off their star child to the public, so they (more accurately tutors) trained her to be basically perfect in very way from academics to athletics to domesticity to manners to putting on a mask that hides her true self from the prying eyes of others. No one knew that Eleanor loved to pig out on pizza in her underwear scrolling through Tumblr all day, or that she struggled in Maths, or that she actually was very sassy and witty, or that she loved theatre and drama, or that all she wanted to do on a Friday night would be to get drunk and party, or even that Eleanor is in fact a through and through lesbian. Eleanor had no interests in men, in fact she thought they were all too muscular and tough and had no interest in their cocky attitudes or cocks in general. Eleanor always caught herself lingering more on the cheerleaders than the footballers, and wanting to touch and be touched by soft and small hands rather than large and rough hands. She knew her parents would never approve because they had more than once voiced their not so nice opinions on the LGBTQ community on more than one occasion. They had even threatened to stop donating to the school if the new gay drama teacher was not fired immediately saying that he would “infect others with his homosexuality” when Eleanor questioned their motives._

_Anyways, Eleanor walked briskly to her sleek, black Porsche because she had an odd feeling she was being watched as soon as she left the safety of the school. Lately Eleanor had the feeling she was being watched everywhere, in class, at cheer practice, out with her friends, and even in her bedroom. She just shrugged the feelings off thinking she was just constantly tired and imagining things. Eleanor reached into her bag and pulled out her keys before clumsily dropping them, she sighed before bending over in her short cheer skirt. Eleanor had been finishing up preparations for the Fall Formal and thus staying later after practice was over till the late evening, and she knew her phone was filled with missed calls from her parents but she was too tired to listen to their lectures on safety and stranger danger._

_Once Eleanor got her car unlocked she felt a hand cover her mouth and her eyes widened as she was thrown on the ground and a dirty cloth was shoved into her mouth. Tears streamed down her face smudging the little make up the survived practice and her mind was repeating ‘no’ and ‘this can’t be happening’ like a mantra. She tried fighting back as she felt her uniform being cut with a knife but the guy grabbed her face and told her to “be quiet unless she wanted the knife cutting something else.”_

_The guy right then and there defiled her dry and with no preparation, so Eleanor felt like her insides were being ripped apart and she tried screaming but the cloth muffled the sound so only skin slapping skin was heard to anyone around along with the man’s grunts. Eleanor felt no pleasure whatsoever and wished more than anything for this experience to be over soon. The man finished filling Eleanor to the brim with his disgusting seed and running before Eleanor fell asleep sore and defiled on the hard pavement of the school parking lot remembering something the man had said during intercourse, “Welcome to the dark side princess.”_

_When Eleanor next awoke the sun was just rising and she could barely walk because of her sore private area and immediately covered herself with the spare jacket she keeps in her car in case she forgets one, the jacket was one of the few she has that was a guys because she gave some guy a ride home and he had left it and Eleanor had never seen him since. The jacket was very large on her and went down to her mid-thigh. Eleanor drove slowly home crying because she had just been raped a few hours prior._

_Once Eleanor was home she was bombarded with two angry parents yelling at her from either side and she just couldn’t handle it right now._

_“Mum, Daddy, please just stop.” Eleanor had already started crying at that point and her mother tried comforting her while her father was still yelling._

_“What the hell do you think you are doing coming home at this god forsaken hour wearing nothing but some bloke’s jacket? Who’s even is that? Are you whoring yourself around now to random guys?” She couldn’t comprehend why her father would even say that no matter what the context was, and a fresh wave of tears poured out of Eleanor’s tired eyes._

_“Someone raped me Daddy.” Eleanor said barely above a whisper but her father heard every word loud and clear and he was incensed._

_“What?” He screamed making both women flinch, “what do you mean someone raped you?”_

_“Some bloke defiled me only hours ago!” Eleanor screamed back tired of her father at that moment._

_“No, no, no, no, no.” Her father kept repeating to himself and her mother stilled around her. “This can’t be happening. The marriage is only a few weeks away, this can’t be happening!” Eleanor knows her father is talking about her arranged marriage with the son of one of her father’s friends who wants to merge their two companies through their children’s matrimony. The guy’s family is very traditional, so one of the only conditions for the marriage was that Eleanor stayed pure until the honeymoon, not that Eleanor had planned on having sex with someone before marriage anyways since she had always dreamt of losing her virginity to the person she loves on their tropical honeymoon off in Greece or Italy, but things change._

_Eleanor dropped her head in submission to her incensed father while her mother stared at her in shock and disdain. She knows her mother hates women who give away their purity saying they don’t respect God and dishonor him by being slags, and now her only daughter is just as bad and impure._

_“Out.” What? Eleanor looks up at her father with confusion hoping she misheard him. She didn’t._

_“I said, out. Leave until I can stand to look at my whore of a daughter, but I doubt that. Pack your bags and be out of here before the sun rises.” She sees the utter disgust and hatred in his eyes, after all she did ruin the single greatest career advancement for him, and destroy his family’s name with her whoring when this gets out to the nosy public._

_Eleanor silently went to collect her things hoping one of her “friends” would allow her to stay for a while. Sadly, hope is one of the worst things to have because life will always crush it leaving you worse off than when you started. That night Eleanor spend the rest of her night packing her two suitcases with clothes and as much money as she could grab from her room to hopefully sustain her for a while, but life has a funny way of making your life as shitty as possible when you are at your lowest. Eleanor spend a week in a low class hotel before some sleaze in town robbed her of everything she brought with her. Now Eleanor was living in strangers’ bedrooms selling her body at night and working all day at some fast food place. Life sucked but she was slowly losing hope that her parents would take her back with every dollar she made as a prostitute. She lived like that for a year before a handsome man in his late thirties held out his hand offering a home._

Louis didn’t know he was crying until Eleanor wiped his eyes with the soft pad of her thumb. Her eyes were surprisingly dry but her eyes were blank and Louis shuddered.

“Then once I came her with Master I tried to be the best because that was how I was wired to be, but that changed once I met Dani. She was perfect, her dancing was mesmerizing and her personality was gentle surprisingly because she worked here.” Louis nodded in encouragement when Eleanor’s voice faltered.

“We got really close and then you got here a few years later with your charm and adorably twinky style.” Louis protested with a “hey” but Eleanor only smirked before continuing “but I just feel… I feel like I’ll get replaced like Aiden and I’ll lose Dani. I mean you and Dani are the only constants in my life and it would break me to lose you guys.” Louis knew that feeling by heart, Louis would rather die than lose Niall and Eleanor. He already lost everything else.

“Same Babe,” Eleanor smiled.

“They aren’t half bad though, I’m kind of jealous at how flexible some of them are.” The duo laughed until they cried at various jokes, and Niall came back to see them sleeping as they cuddled each other.

Louis was awakened by Niall a few hours later for dinner and to meet the newbies since Niall already socialized with them earlier. It truly took a lot of courage for Niall to talk to strangers, the only reason he could do it was because they had experienced similar misfortunes and could mirror his shattered and fake smiles.

Louis walked to the dining area with Niall on his left and El on his right. Once they arrived four heads looked up but only two were familiar. However, Louis only focused on the blond who looked vaguely familiar as well.

“Olly.” Louis shook the attractive guys hand and went on to the other newbie.

 “Perrie.” Louis looks at them and approves of their looks, each beautiful in their own way and they spend the rest of the day getting the newbies into the routines their working on which Louis is excited about, Sports Fantasy. The boys decided on football, courtesy of Louis, and the girls decided cheerleading would be the most fantasy like for the male audience. Eleanor had the girls doing cheer routines she learned and Louis was proud of her for facing that scary part of her past. The boys started practicing different football moves and how to incorporate them into their dancing. By the time night fell, both groups made a considerable amount of progress. Olly was a little awkward but Perrie was a natural, it made Louis wonder what her story was, but he knew better than anyone to pry into someone’s past.

“You know, we never did have our party a few days ago. I was thinking we should have one tonight.” Eleanor asked to everyone, Olly and Perrie looked perplexed.

“It’s a weekly thing we do to have a little fun here. We get together, have a couple of drinks, and play some music.” They thought the idea was cool so the group moved to one of the empty rooms they usually keep their instruments, alcohol, and such in. Niall and Louis play an acoustic version of a song called “Back to You” by Eleanor’s favorite band, One Direction. Louis loves their music despite their mainstream pop upbringing, but if anyone asked Louis would never admit to putting their latest album, Midnight Memories, on repeat. Perrie sang a song called “Little Me” by a group called Little Mix and  sounded lovely a Capella, and Olly borrowed Niall’s guitar to perform an original song called  “Troublemaker” which he told everyone was about a girl he crushed on years ago. Then Eleanor played music she keeps on a phone a client gave her, he insisted on giving her access to his iTunes account so she could buy all the music she wanted, and she played something hot and heavy called “Smack That”. Louis had too much to drink and started grinding on Olly and so did Olly. Before he knew it he and Olly were making out and Olly was pulling Louis to his room.

Louis started panicking and trying to get the bigger male off of him, but Olly was stronger and hornier. Louis closed his eyes willing the panic to go down as Olly started sucking love bites into his neck and tracing Louis’ collar bones with his tongue. Louis repeatedly told him no but the older lad just wasn’t having it. He put his hand down Louis’ pants and Louis finally blacked out.

Harry woke up the next morning achy and with the most killer headache known to man, which is weird considering it has been a day since his little escapade with Nick. Oh well, Harry notices that he woke up in the middle of the night, the clock says three in the morning, and decides he should take a shower. Showers are nice, they especially help Harry relax his bad back, and Harry loves just sitting under the warm water but hates how his mind always thinks about the things Harry will usually avoid. Like Louis. He thinks about the energetic boy and how Jay would always cut his bangs straight across in the dorkiest fashion making Louis go to Harry and grumble about child abuse, and then have some of the girls in his class fix his hair in cute bows and clips before school.

Harry sighs. So much for not letting his mind wander.

Harry eventually makes his way down to the living area and sees Liam sleeping uncomfortably on his couch with Zayn in a similar position on his loveseat. Harry rolls his eyes fondly at his stupidly loyal friends the he honestly couldn’t live without. He’s so very glad he was put together with his childhood friends by some strange twist of fate. He goes over to the pictures framed on the wall; one was from when they were first put together and they were all sobbing into a group hug because all three thought that they were going to go home so early on and the thought scares Harry of what would have happened if they had all gone home. Another shows them at Madison Square Garden where they were singing and just looking like they were having the time of their lives up on that stage, like they were born to perform. Others were multiple award shows and snippets of their tours. Finally, Harry gazed upon his favorite picture of all, one of a small concert they played for their parents in their younger years with Louis and Niall singing right alongside them passionately. Harry remembers that Louis always told Harry he would make it big, _“Because Styles is the last name of a superstar!”_ and he made Harry promise that once he was rich and famous that he and Louis would get married, _“because I’m gonna be a super famous footie player, so I gotsta’ marry someone of similar sta-tus. It’s a word I just learned from a book that makes me seem really smart!”_ Louis had told Harry that with the biggest and brightest smile Harry had ever seen on the boy and subsequently asked for Harry’s autograph in advance.

“I would have loved to have them in the band.” Harry jumped at the sudden sound of Zayn’s voice.

“Holy shit Z, give a guy a warning before scaring the shit out him!” He lightly punched Zayn’s shoulder and Zayn laughed.

Zayn smiled and the two continued to look at the pictures until Liam woke up and yelled at the two for bonding without him. Harry looked at the smiling boy with bright blue eyes and wondered for the millionth time:

_Where could he be?_

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry makes plans, then fucks up (again), Louis gets hurt, then gets great news, and finally the moment you've been waiting for!!! (TEHE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIYA GUYS!! I'm sooooooo sorry for the long ass wait, I have no other explaination other than I am a piece of shit (but what else is new), but I'm back and I hope those of you who like this story also like this chapter. The next chapter is when some serious shit goes down! Hope fully I'll have it done in the next two weeks BUT DONT QUOTE ME ON THAT! 
> 
> Any who, this was un beta'd because Katelyn decided to be a dick and didnt want to read it, so I was wondering if anyone wanted to Beta this story, I might need a couple because I'm a shit and need new friends. If anyone is interested you can talk to me on my Tumblr (poeticallycounterfactual) IDK how to link btw if someone could dumb down how to link that would be super swaggy. 
> 
> Anyyways...Trigger Warnings for this chapter: Drugs, some noncon under the influence, and very vague implications of eating disorders. 
> 
> Once again this is a work of fiction and by no means represents the people mentioned, I only used their names and some personality traits.
> 
> I love you guys even if Im a shit. If there are any mistakes or inaccuracies let me know, and let me know what you want to see happen or what you are excited to see in future chapters. Until next time :p

_Dark_

_The only thing that came to Louis’ mind as he walked through the forest, fear seeping through every pore and quite frankly all Louis wanted to do was crawl into his bed with his little frog stuffy and feel safe. Unfortunately for Louis that was not the case and he was stuck searching for his fluffy friend. He felt responsible for Niall, and this ultimately fell onto Louis’ shoulders because of his leadership role. Mark had always told Louis that a leader will always do what is right and take on responsibility with integrity. Now Louis didn’t know what most of those words meant but Mark had explained that Louis had to do what he knew was right no matter what, and since Louis was a remarkably smart kid he was able to realize that the right thing to do was make sure Niall was alright instead of running home. Of course what Louis_ _failed to realize was that the appropriate thing to do in this situation was to get an adult but essentially he was correct on a moral basis._

_Leaves rustled in the distance and Louis almost ran home, but remained steadfast._

_“Niall!”_

_“Niall!”_

_“Ni please answer me!” More leaves rustled and Louis sped up his walking to a run as he called out to Niall. The more steps he took the more Louis felt like he was going into some imminent danger. Of course Louis would continue going because he was also a big boy and felt he could do this._

_Louis enters a ring of trees that seem to go higher than the rest and in the middle is Niall being held by a tall, dark looking man with dark eyes staring into him and a gun in his hand raised to Louis, and Louis knew that if he moved that he would most likely have a bullet through his skull._

_“Well, lookie what we have here, another little bitch ready to play.” Chills ran up and down Louis’ body as he attempted to curl into himself. Nothing worked to calm Louis down and he felt panic flow through him. “Now now, we don’t want little Lou to have a panic attack or anything now do we?” Lou didn’t understand who this man was or how he knew who Louis was, all Louis knew was that as soon as the man put Niall down and grabbed him violently, everything suddenly_ _went dark._

…

How Harry ended up drunk, high, and fucking Stan in Louis’ childhood bedroom was a complete mystery to him at the moment, and all he could think of was how utterly disappointed Louis would be in him.

…

Harry woke up that morning with Zayn curled up on his side and Liam cooking what smelled like eggs and toast. He gently moved Zayn so that he was taking up the entire couch and grabbed the blanket that had fallen, placing it on the raven haired demi god.

“Morning Haz, how are you feeling?” Harry simply nodded and grabbed some bacon and sausage from the fridge to fry up. Liam goes back to making his egg white omelet and a side of whole wheat toast. “You know, you should come back to the gym with me I miss having you there and Zayn is a terrible spotter.” Harry shrugged grabbing some eggs, cheese, onions, and bell peppers to mix with his meat to make the super greasy breakfast that he feels he deserves. He remembers smoking with Zayn on the couch while Liam looked on disapprovingly before he gave in and joined. He remembers talking about how much he hates the fans putting him on a pedestal so high they couldn’t see him for what he truly was, a failure. He told them how he would give up almost everything to be able to be with Louis again, but in a more mature and adult way than before.

“Morning Lads” Zayn strolled into the kitchen looking like a runway model even though he had literally just awoken and it irked Harry to no end. Zayn stole some of Liam’s omelet before stating he had some business to attend to with his mom and Liam had some writing to do with the label which subsequently left Harry alone with hundreds of calories in front of him, and Harry decided he wasn’t hungry and went upstairs to take a shower and probably sleep more.

Once Harry was clean he laid on his bed, naked, looking at the ceiling wondering if his life would only amount to waiting for Louis and fucking up. Tomorrow was his 20th birthday and he was hoping he could get away with a small affair consisting of just his family and the lads. Harry’s phone signaled an incoming call, Nick.

“’ello?”

“’ey ‘azza!!” Of course Nick was already intoxicated, and it was only ten.

“Nick, are you drunk?” Harry inquired not actually caring after how much of a fucking headache he had after his last outing with Grimmy and that was enough to perpetuate his current dislike for the older man.

“No not at all Hazza! Alright I’ve had a few shots, but nothing too hard! Anyways I want to know if you’d like to go out with me tonight to celebrate turning twenty!”

Harry considered it for a minute before declining saying he was celebrating with the lads tonight

“Just bring ‘em along, the more the merrier am I right Haz?” Nick just had to bring up the one time he participated in a threesome with Nick when he was seventeen and his grandmother walked in scarring both for life.

“Um I uh… I don’t know if Liam and Zayn would be okay with that. I uh…”

“Come on! What they don’t supervise won’t hurt them and most of all you Hazza! You know you’re important to me, right?” Nick interrupted Harry, and considering Harry is considerably bad at confrontations hence why Liam and Zayn have to be with him to help make important decisions because Harry is easily persuaded by peer pressure.

“Fine, but if Liam asks I’m telling him where I am, and I want to be home by midnight, alright?” Harry knew he most likely wouldn’t abide by Harry’s regulations. This was a really bad idea.

…

Harry spent the rest of his day leading up to the outing with Nick on his bed chatting with Lottie again. They talked about Lottie’s acceptance into Manchester and Harry’s upcoming stadium tour.

Lottie: U can’t be serious!

Harry: But I am! L

Lottie: Soz, but rly a tour that big! Damn I wish I could see you in person for once!

Harry: Well if it’s okay with your mom maybe you and the girls could come to a couple of the shows in the O2 and Manchester. Of course the tickets would be free and stuff but I really want to see you too J

Lottie: fjabhfhagf;aogahigr

Lottie: Soz I fell off the bed :p

Harry: Don’t do that! I don’t want you to get hurt!

Lottie: Im fine Haz just got rly excited!

Harry: Lol

Lottie: Do you want to Skype?

That threw Harry off. He never really thought about video chatting the second oldest Tomlinson because he was comfortable with how things have been going.

Lottie: Um Haz…

Harry: Yeah, um sorry I kinda zoned out. If that is okay with you then I’d love to! J Its Curly_Cat94

Lottie: Cute ;p

The incoming Skype call from LotsTommo2 made Harry nervous beyond all hell as he accepted the call. A young girl with long blond hair and sharp azure eyes appeared and Harry wanted to cry at the resemblance between their eyes, it was almost like he was staring back at the pictures of a child Louis. Harry didn’t realize he was crying until Lottie asked if he was okay with her light melodic voice and similar Yorkshire accent.

“Yeah, I just um… You and Louis look a lot alike is all and I um… I was remembering him, is all.” Harry stammered out and Lottie’s demeanor gloomed as well.

“I wish I knew him. The few times I’ve overheard Mum talk about him it was all about how wonderful he was and how much she missed him. Heck I’ve even talked to Stan about Louis and all Stan told me was how strong and smart he was and how cruel it was of God to take him away. I just wish he had been in my life because God knows I’ve needed him, like a lot.” The last part caused Lottie’s voice to break and the flood gates to release because soon both were crying like babies and crushing under the weight of guilt and remorse respectively.

“I know Lots, trust me I know. I have no idea how I survived most of my life without him. He was my life line.” Lottie wiped her tears and smiled a broken smile.

“I’ve seen pictures of him and I’m surprised at how alike we look ‘cus he has a different dad and all.”

“Yeah.” Harry looked at the young lady in front of him and thought of how proud Louis would be if he had the chance to know the amazing woman that his younger sister has become.

“Harry?” Lottie called and broke Harry out of his trance.

“Yeah? Sorry I spaced out again.”

Lottie giggles, “You tend to do that.” Lottie suddenly turned around to face the person that came into the room, but she quickly muted her voice and all Harry could see was the back of Lottie’s head and a vague shape of someone else. After a minute or so Lottie unmuted herself.

“Sorry Haz, Mum wanted to know if I was staying for dinner. Hey Haz?” Harry gives a noise of affirmation before continuing, “Would you like to come to Doncaster? For just like a day or so, I told Mum and the girls about you a while ago and she wanted to invite you to stay for the holidays but was too nervous to ask you”. Harry was taken aback, Jay actually wanted to be near him? Last time he saw Jay she ignored him of course that was right after she lost her son so it now was pretty understandable why she couldn’t face her son’s best friend.

“I uh don’t know, are you sure Jay wouldn’t mind me being there?” Lottie assured him that her mum was perfectly okay with being around Harry and actually wanted to apologize.

Why now though? Harry wondered but didn’t want to depreciate even more than he already has.

“Why wouldn’t she? I’ve always been told that you were part of the family even if you weren’t with us every day, like Lou.” And okay, wow, that kind of stabbed Harry right in his heart. She never hated him? Harry started crying again in front of Lottie and he really needs to stop showing his vulnerable side to teenage girls.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll come in a little bit and then I’ll have to go do some obligatory birthday celebrations, it’ll probably be late at night though-”

“It’s fine! I mean yeah, sure it’s totally fine if you come a little later as long as you um , end up coming in the end, and I understand because it’s your birthday and all.” Lottie sounded completely insecure like she was scared that Harry would reject her or think she was being childish. Harry smiled.

“I’ll see you later Lots.”

“Yeah sure, whatever.” She pouts and Harry giggles because that was such a Louis thing to do.

“Goodbye Lots”

“’Bye Hazza”

Lottie hung up and Harry cried for a third time.

….

Louis woke up feeling dizzy and absolutely, utterly disgusting. He had the feeling of being dirty but unable to wash it away and he tried to remember what happened after Olly started touching him but to no avail. Louis looks to the other side of the bed and sees Olly snoring away. Louis has the urge to slap him the fuck awake but decides against it because what’s the point? The prick already took what he wanted from Louis and now he will probably go back to normal and ignore Louis’ existence.

That would be really freaking nice.

 

Louis got up wincing minutely at the slight burn in his arse and ache in his lower back. What the fuck did Olly do to make him ache so much? Louis questions. He sees a few used condoms untied and leaking onto the floor by Louis’ side of the bed. Louis hurries to the bathroom and vomits into the toilet feeling even more disgusting and defiled than when he woke up.

When Louis gained the energy and courage to, he walked to his room hoping Niall didn’t go back to his because Louis doesn’t feel like talking about it. Luckily Niall wasn’t in his room and he heads quickly to his tiny shower where he attempts to scrub Olly’s unwarranted touches off, but nothing worked so Louis turns up the heat to the highest it can go and he rubs his arms, legs and torso red and raw. Louis knows that it will probably blister a little because of the minor burns he gave himself but at this point he was too disgusted with himself to care. He felt the upmost need to rip all his skin off, but that would be a bad idea you know with like death and all. As Louis sat rubbing his skin raw he recalled some tidbits of memories where Olly had Louis suck his cock and foreplay involving fingers, lube and something resembling a dildo but nothing beyond that like, sex per say. Nonetheless Louis was disgusted with his powerless display of fending off Olly thus allowing Louis to be taken advantage of. He hated himself and thought if he died trying to cleanse himself then maybe it would be a death worth having.

A feeble knock on the bathroom door disrupted Louis train of thought and possibly saved him from darker thoughts as well, he replied with a loud grunt and Niall asked him if he was okay. Louis scoffed.

“Lou, can I come in?” Louis found himself nodding then smacking himself so loud Niall most likely heard it because of course Niall couldn’t see him. “Lou?”

“Uh, yeah just a sec Ni, ‘kay?” Before Niall could really reply Louis hoisted himself out his sitting position in the tub, threw a towel around his waist and opened the door to reveal Niall crying again. Déjà vu, huh? Niall threw himself at Louis and the latter barely caught the former before both hit the floor.

“Are you okay?” Niall didn’t respond immediately only clutched Louis’ shirt tighter.

“I thought you left me.” Niall said in such a soft voice that Louis almost didn’t hear him. Almost.

“Why would you think that Nialler?”

“Because you just disappeared and no one knew where you were, I thought that you finally had enough of this fucking place and just left me here!” Louis rolled his eyes, his Nialler was a special case.

“You dipshit, why would I leave you, if I was going to leave you I would have done that a long time ago,” Niall shook his head “besides I love you too much to leave you here, and you suffer here more than I do. If anything I would find you a way out of here first.” Louis decided that for right now he would suppress his feelings because Niall needs him to help deal with his disorder and depression.

He is fine.

…

As soon as Nick arrived at Harry’s flat he knew nothing good would come out of this, but Harry didn’t like to disappoint people and despised confrontation, so he opened the door and greeted Nick warmly. He told Nick that something had come up and he was heading to Doncaster to meet with some friends and Nick being Nick invited himself saying that he would find some hotel or inn and stay the night or something but wanted to go clubbing and found out the Doncaster actually had a couple of clubs. Harry knew he would regret this.

They arrived in Doncaster a few hours later and Nick immediately cracked open a bottle of vodka to “get them loose”. They headed to one of the clubs that Nick looked up and went in immediately with Harry’s celebrity status. The music was loud and the room was filled to the brim with hot, sweaty and definitely not sober young adults grinding and humping to the beat of some electronica song.

Harry looked around trying to find someone or something in the mess of sweaty bodies. Harry tried not to think of his childhood here but failed until a slightly muscular man came up behind Harry and started grinding against his bum and another man in front of him giving him drinks. They tasted disgusting but quickly got him buzzed and soon enough wasted.

The two men introduced themselves but Harry quickly forgot only remembering that one started with a C and the other an S. Harry thinks that C went to get them something stronger than the drinks and S had taken off Harry’s shirt and started groping Harry’s chest. He sucked on his nipples making Harry shiver with pleasure while palming Harry’s hard cock. C came back and took them to a private room where some people that looked vaguely like Nick were doing lines and others were doing body shots and smoking pot in between turns. Harry couldn’t tell but he thought he recognized someone shooting up heroin but looked away in favor of grabbing the joint C offered him. Harry, in all his blazed haze, identified several things Liam would kill him for. 1) Leaving without telling Liam or Zayn or anybody. 2) Getting wasted and high with dodgy people. 3) Going back to their hometown and reuniting with Louis’ family. Yeah, Harry was fucking dead the second he steps foot into London.

“Harreh! Do lines with me!” S shouted at Harry to be heard over the thumping bass. Harry knew not to do anything harder than weed but got did he need to forget Louis and have fun, so with that thought Harry took out a bill and bent down to quickly snort the white powder and hold his nose to try and not sneeze. S pat him on the back and pressed his lips to Harry’s in a slight clash of teeth and lips. S took control of the kiss and bit Harry’s lips while trying to shove his tongue in his mouth and explore the popstar’s mouth. Harry pulled away to do another line and take a sip of the drink in front of him that Harry didn’t even know whose it was. Eventually someone got Harry on top of the table to do body shots and S poured the liquid into his bellybutton and put the salt in a line on Harry’s hard and toned stomach finally placing the lime wedge in Harry’s waiting mouth. He licked the salt, slurped the alcohol and finally grabbed the lime from Harry and ate it. S kissed Harry once again before C popped up out of nowhere and said it was time to go because there were tons of paps waiting for Harry to come out completely fucked up. C and S helpfully shoved Harry out the back of the club to a cab. They asked him where he wanted to go and Harry told them he didn’t know the address for the Tomlinson residence.

“I know the place” S claimed and recited the address

Once they were at Louis’ house S got out with Harry and paid the cabbie, Harry stumbled to the door and rang the bell. When no one answered Harry rang again, and again. Harry was starting to get scared that Lottie had lied to him and they moved away to get away from him, Harry started shaking and S hugged around Harry’s waist from behind.

“Here.” S gave Harry a paper that was on the floor.

**_Harry,_ **

**_I’m so sorry but there was a family emergency and we had to go and you wouldn’t answer your phone. There is a key, it is in a place you and Louis had hidden it years ago. When you find it you can let yourself in and sleep in Louis’ room, you know where. I’ll see you tomorrow._ **

**_~Lottie_ **

“I didn’t know you knew Louis Tomlinson,” S’s face started clearing but Harry didn’t recognize him at all. “You look confused? I used to have class with Lou, we hung out every once in a while? Stan Lucas?” So that was his name, Stan, Harry tried to remember him but Harry mostly paid attention to Louis when he was a kid. Harry shook off his thoughts. He wracked his brain for information on where that stupid key would be but he was coming up blank.

Where the fuck did we hide a key? Harry thought to himself. He remembers that Louis loved playing footie in the front yard and constantly knocked over the potted plant that hid the key to his house, so he decided to hide it somewhere he wouldn’t accidentally lose it. He put it in the ground somewhere in… Fuck! Harry couldn’t remember, Harry didn’t want to dismember Jay’s front lawn, so he rubbed his temple to ease the ache in his brain. He remembers Louis thought the place was clever because it was like being under the flower pot… The flower bed! Louis attached the key to a string that connected to a fake flower he had then planted in the flower bed. Harry ran over to the flower bed Jay had always meticulously cared for almost like another child. Harry looked for the fake flower, and once he located it he pulled it carefully out of the ground and there was the key! Harry ran back to Stan and opened the door. 

“You wanna come inside?” Harry purred in Stan’s ear. He needs a distraction, bad. Stan looked confused for a second before Harry smashed his lips on the other and rubbed his crotch against Stan’s. Stan moaned and grabbed Harry’s waist practically dragging him inside.

…

Harry decides that letting Stan top him then subsequently topping Stan was the stupidest thing Harry has done. When Harry woke up in Louis’ bed, naked, with Stan spooning him from behind he immediately remembered half of what he did last night and ran to the bathroom down the hall to vomit up everything in his stomach. Harry’s throat felt sore but not as sore as his arse in which the throbbing started to dull. He made his way back down the hall slowly looking at all the pictures hung on the wall in simple frames. Most are the girls as they grew up but there is a singular picture of Louis where his hair was cut in that adorable bowl cut with his fringe cut straight across his forehead but the thing about the picture is that it also has Harry in it and the two boys are smiling as wide as they possibly could showing their teeth. The two boys in the picture were sitting on Louis’ bed with stolen cookies behind their backs in one hand and in the other they were holding hands.

Harry quietly made his way back to Louis’ room with tears in his eyes and refusing to look at anymore pictures.

Stan is still asleep when Harry pulls on his clothes from last night and hears voices downstairs that sound suspiciously like teenage girls.

“Shit!” Harry cusses quietly and looks over to a sleeping Stan knowing that fucking boys in Louis’ bed is not exactly the best first impression for Jay to have of him after all these years. Harry shakes Stan awake, and he wakes up startled.

“No time to explain, you have to go, now!” Stan climbs down the tree beside Louis’ window after he quickly put on his clothes from last night. A few minutes later the door to Louis room bursts open and a small body collides with his, Charlotte. Her blond hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was crying.

“Lottie? You okay?” She replied by saying that she was just really happy to see him and Harry said “Yeah, me too Lots.”

…

The rest of Louis’ day consisted of practicing for his performance that night and dodging the questioning glances of his best friend who is much smarter and observant than Louis gives him credit for. He puts on his costume and goes to Eleanor and Danielle’s room, because they kind of share that really, where they will put on his makeup. Master has a makeup team but Louis prefers Eleanor. In the room the two lesbians are kissing passionately and Danielle’s hands are verging on rated R.

“Keep it PG ladies.” Eleanor backs away quickly and attempts to fix her appearance while Danielle smirks and sweetly kisses Eleanor before grabbing her flask and leaving.

“Sorry Lou”

“No problem, I give you a hard time because I love you.” They laugh and El gets to work. He gets his hair re-dyed, colored contacts put in, and makeup done. He nurses a cuppa while El puts her own contacts in, puts makeup on and fixes her newly cut locks. Master recently told her she needed a change and would like good as a blond but she fought him on it, resulting in a few bruises, but he allowed her to instead get it cut to her shoulders. Louis personally thought she would look amazing either way. A stage assistant tells them they are on in ten and the duo makes their way to the stage meeting up with Niall on the way. The latter of whom looked too pale and weak to walk let alone dance but he knew Master would have a fit and possibly sell Niall off to some old, rich bastard who wouldn’t be the kindest person. Louis forced (gently) Niall to eat a whole banana, “Its only like a hundred Calories Ni!”, to give him some energy.

The show, in Louis’ opinion, goes really well thus far, but it’s Louis’ turn and he struts out sexily looking around at the crowd and spots some of his regulars and some new faces that he recognizes from Eleanor’s vast knowledge of pop culture. He twerks (classily!) at some sultry remixed version of “Anaconda” Louis’ self-proclaimed theme song, “It was written for me Ni!”, and Louis almost drools at the amount of $100 tips he gets. He almost runs backstage crying from happiness because these tips might almost cover Niall’s quota, but he runs into Master.

“Good news Louis, you have a customer already for tonight who booked you for the entire night.” What? No one ever books the entire night because not only is it extremely expensive but most only want a few rounds before they have to go back to their husbands/wives.

“Um who-”

“He’s in the VIP suite already, go immediately.” Not only did he book Louis for the entire night but he booked the most expensive as well, just who is this mystery man?

On his way to the VIP suite he runs into Eleanor as well.

“Lou! Oh my gosh you will never guess who is in the skybox!”

“Who?”

“Only my favorite band ever! One Direction!” Oh cool, Louis thinks.

“Cool. Listen I gotta go to the VIP suite, I got booked for the whole night.” He leaves Eleanor flabbergasted. Louis makes a quick stop by his room to change into sexy, lacy blue panties and some black suspenders after putting some more concealer on the fading bruises Olly gave him.

Once at the suite Louis takes a deep breath before open the door and feast his eyes on some of the handsomest eye candy he has ever seen. A tall, very tall, man with broad shoulders and a slim waist, and the curliest hair pulled back by a blue headscarf that matches Louis’ panties. The man’s emerald eyes look up and down Louis’ body like a lion sizing up its prey. Louis steps forward and closes the door behind him.


	6. Six: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry hangs out with Lottie, Hazza's B-Day partttayyyy, and H&L meet!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another shitty update. Im sorry its been so long I have no excuse. Anywho all mistakes are my own since I no longer have a beta. Love you guys, hope you all enjoy ~<3

_Louis loved dancing, he would shake his little body to whatever his mum had on the radio and sang along even when he didn’t know the words. Jay always thought Louis would become famous with his wit, charisma and obvious talent from a young age._

…

“Harry.”

“Jay.”

They both nod at each other not really knowing what to say the only thing they have in common is their mutual undying love for Louis William Tomlinson. They stare at each other not quite knowing what to say. Does Harry apologize for Louis’ kidnapping even though it was completely out of his childish control? Does Jay pretend like she didn’t completely cut Harry and his family out of her and her family’s lives because she had a mental breakdown and refused to look at anything that reminded her of Louis including her own family for six consecutive months? Does Harry ask about her life now knowing Louis’ ghost still haunts her to this day? Does Jay ask about Harry’s life now knowing full well that the drug and sex scandals are more than just celebrity gossip?

“How about you both stop thinking so hard about what to say and talk about the bloody weather if not talking about Louis is so fucking hard?” Lottie raises her voice and Jay immediately rebukes her for being rude and using foul language. They stare at each other for a few moments more before Harry breaks the silence.

“How was your trip Mrs. Tomlinson?” Harry tries for a simple topic, polite and easily discussed without going too deep into anything. Jay shakes her head, “I am no longer Tomlinson. It’s Deakin now, I actually found out that I’m pregnant while on the trip, twins again.” Jay glowed with happiness for the first time since before losing Louis, Lottie noticed and Harry noted that Jay seemed genuinely happy, he smiled.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Deakin. I apologize for misspeaking your title. If you don’t mind me asking, but where is the rest of the family?” Harry recently noticed that the house was eerily quiet after the hype of meeting with Lottie died down; he knew that Lottie had three other younger sisters so he assumed that the house would be much louder.

Jay smiled, “Dan, my husband, took them to get ice cream to celebrate since they were going to skip school today anyways, but Lottie convinced me to allow her to miss today so she could spend a few hours with you before you head back to London?” The last part came out as a question considering she did not know what the twenty year old would be doing for his birthday.

“Oh, alright. I, um, was planning on staying a few hours so I could also have a small get together back in London. It’s, um, my, uh, birthday…” He finished quietly. Jay took a quiet breath. “Your birthday?” Harry nodded, “oh goodness, well why aren’t you in London or Homes Chapel with Anne? It was Homes Chapel that they moved to, right?” Harry nodded again.

“Well, Mum and Robin were going to go get Gemma in Manchester then drive down to London together so we could have a small dinner. I was planning to take a flight back to London around five so I could spend a few hours here. I didn’t have anything planned until tonight so I figured I would visit Lottie.” Jay simply nodded.

“Just take care of her if you plan on going anywhere. Here is my number if anything happens.” Jay wrote her number down onto a piece of paper with the home and her cell number as well as Dan’s. Harry nodded and Lottie jumped up excitedly pulling on Harry’s arm to get him to get up. Jay watched fondly as Lottie pulled Harry up to her room to help her get ready, Jay knew Harry wouldn’t touch Lottie inappropriately or else she would gladly kill him. Besides, she had a feeling Harry was very much gay.

Upstairs Lottie tore apart her closet in search of something suitable to wear out with a world famous popstar. Wow, that is something she never thought she would ever say. She shrugged, ‘haters gonna hate’ she thought. Harry sat atop Lottie’s soft blue duvet thinking it matched the color of Louis’ eyes on a summer day when the older boy was happy and carefree.

“How about this Haz?” Harry looked at the low cut, black tank top Lottie held up

“How about no. Your mum would skin me.” Lottie rolled her eyes and went back to looking. Harry stood up and rummaged around finding a cute black, long sleeved dress that went up to around mid-thigh with a white collar and wrist cuffs. Lottie nodded and grabbed a pair of black boots that went to her ankles. She smiled, “You are so gay.” Harry’s heart stopped.

“What?” Harry said breathlessly, he was afraid she would hate him; he was afraid he was too obvious and everyone would hate him; he was afraid. Lottie noticed his panic, “Calm down I was joking, but based on your reaction I’m assuming I’m right?” Harry nodded, “And that’s okay Haz, I don’t care about you any less.” Harry felt like a weight was taken off of his chest because he never actually came out to his parents, only Liam and Zayn and even then they said they sort of figured, he radiated some kind of gay aura? But nonetheless, he really appreciated Lottie’s support, he would be very upset if Lottie was homophobic.

Lottie changed while Harry waited outside the door, then she told him to come in. She looked amazing, so much more grown up and mature than he thought she would be at her age. She asked him if he could braid her hair while she did her makeup. Harry learned how to do multiple braids from Gemma who hated to do her own hair and convinced Harry to be her own personal stylist. He fishtailed her hair and Lottie applied some light makeup looking even more beautiful. Harry believed that someone should wear makeup if they wanted and for themselves so they could feel beautiful or comfortable, he thought that wearing makeup for someone else was stupid. Nonetheless, he thought Lottie turned into such a beautiful young lady from such a cute and chubby baby.

“Ready, Harry?”

“Oh, well I’m still in my clothes from the night before, and I need a shower.” Lottie gave him a towel and some clothes telling him to ‘hurry the hell up!’

“Why the hell do you have a dudes clothes Lots?” She shrugged and told him they were her ex-boyfriend’s and she forgot she still had them. Harry quickly showered pulling on the simple white tee-shirt, the pants didn’t fit so he pulled on his from the night before and his boots. Lottie pulled his hair back by a light blue headscarf. Soon Lottie was pulling him out the door saying “We got lots to do Hazzy!”

Harry was hungry from not eating in a day so Lottie suggested a diner in town which was supposedly the best for curing hangovers, which was killing Harry as well. They simply ate and had pleasant small talk about nothing in particular. They people watched and played a game of narrating people’s lives. 

“Okay, okay” Harry said out of breath from laughing, “he” pointing to a couple in a corner booth where a very flamboyantly gay guy looks bored out of his mind as a very pretty girl is eccentrically waving her hands telling a story, “isn’t out of the closet yet, even though everyone already knows he’s gay, and to hide his sexuality he agreed to go on a date with his attractive coworker whom has slept with half of the office. They work for a fashion magazine. He actually has a secret boyfriend who is the boss and they have sexual relations in the office. She is talking about herself, of course, and all her accomplishments and boyfriends and he is a few seconds away from either slapping her or sashaying away.” Lottie belts out a laugh and everyone, including the couple in the booth, look at her. Harry giggles as well feeling better than he has in a long time.

They then hit up a comedy movie that they both laugh at, and finally ending up at a park a few blocks away from her home; sitting on a bench with wine candies and cupcakes.

“So what’s it like being an international superstar? You know the whole fame, having money and everyone wanting you thing?” Harry shrugs telling her that the fame isn’t as great as it is made out to be. Sure Harry loves attention, positive, and having money but he misses having someone to share it with. Yeah, he has the lads, his mum, and Lottie but they don’t make him feel better like a lover would. Like Louis would.

They lay on the dry grass to look at the clouds and making shapes out of them when someone calls Harry’s name. Harry prays it isn’t a fan because he doesn’t feel like being hoarded right now. He looks up to find Nick Grimshaw striding up to him. He tells Lottie to give him a second and she goes to wait in the car her mum let Harry borrow.

“Hey Haz, where’ve you been? Shackin’ up with Stanley? Really? You could’ve done so much better.” Even though Harry isn’t attracted to Stan, the boy was nice enough to help him home even if it ended up as an ulterior motive.

“Shut the fuck up Nick, at least Stan didn’t abandon me the second he arrived at the club. Let me remind you of something Nicholas, you are a terrible friend and I don’t want to speak with you right now so if you could please leave a have a date with a very important person.” Harry was getting sick of Nick’s shit anyways, he could stand to freshen up the air he breathes. For a while Nick has made him feel worthless and like shit, but at first when Harry met Nick when he was 18 two years ago Nick made him feel cooler and older. Although now Harry realizes that Nick pressured him to do so many things he shouldn’t have done at such a young age and was never really a good person.

“What the fuck ever Styles. You know that you will regret making an enemy out of me!” Harry rolled his eyes and walked away. He had a feeling that he shouldn’t have done that but then again he also feels as though Nick would have made his problems worse if he had kept the man close. Being friends with Nick was like smoking a cigarette, at first it seems cool and makes you feel better but over time it slowly kills you without you realizing it, and one day it takes everything away. Harry wanted to remove the tumor that was Nicholas Grimshaw.

Lottie was singing loudly to Harry’s newest music while dancing and banging on the steering wheel like a drum set.

Harry walks over to the driver’s side knocking on the glass, Lottie embarrassed slides over to the passenger’s side; they drive back to Lottie’s for some farewells.

The farewells are short, sweet, but also much needed; Harry promised to come and visit soon and Jay said that he was always welcome. Harry’s heart filled with joy. He turned to Lottie and hugged the much smaller girl tightly as she tells him that even though their visit was short, it was nice and she promised to keep in touch almost every day.

The taxi ride to the airport was fairly short and the flight a little longer, Harry contacted his family to see if they could have dinner out when they got there, and he contacted the boys to tell them he was still alright and would be home soon.

…

When Harry stepped into his flat, tired and in much need of a shower, he was bombarded with family and close friends jumping up and yelling “Surprise!” Harry jolted and thought for a split second that he had a heart attack, but Liam came up to him hugging tightly and smiling. Harry smiled back knowing Liam pulled all of this together when he realized Harry would be gone a few hours, dick.

Anne came up next holding a small present in a small box telling him not to open it until he found Louis. She hugged him to stop the incoming tears, he thanked his lovely mother and she gave him a tight lipped smile.

Gemma pushed her way up to him doing the normal hug and kiss but she also did something unusual, she handed him a stack of money. He looked at her questioningly but she only said, “You’ll need it for tonight.” Harry had plenty of money, quite frankly he had more than enough so he couldn’t understand why his less wealthy sibling would give him money but he just shrugged and thought that Gemma was too lazy to get him anything.

He shook his head and turned back to the party and talking to more people, mostly his friends and family.

Harry went outside to get some fresh air and outside was Zayn and Ed smoking some fags, Zayn offered him one but Harry felt like trying to stop doing drugs, except his recent coffee addiction. They talked about random things until Ed mentioned something he did last week.

“You know, I’ve never really been into prostitutes and such before but I went to this one place and fuck, I’ve never seen strippers that bloody fit! This one had the best arse I’ve ever seen, and another had the bluest eyes and was a great fuck.” Harry didn’t want to judge people based on their life choices but Harry couldn’t fathom letting creepy, strangers touch and do things to you for money; however, it may be the only thing they can do to make money and that makes Harry really sad because that has to screw with your head at some point right?

Zayn laughs, “Now Eddy, why in the world would you need to go to a strip club? You’ve plenty of willing women at your fingertips.” Ed shrugs.

“Because I’m not interested in women.” Zayn shuts up.

“Oh, dude, I didn’t mean- Well I… Um, I didn’t mean to assume, sorry Bro.” Ed laughed.

“Z, it’s fine. I didn’t want to live a lie anymore, so I’ve been talking to my management and they said as soon as I had a long term partner, I could come out. That’s why I’ve been going to this club, so that I can gain some experience and find out what kind of lad I like. Maybe even find someone to love.” Harry couldn’t imagine strippers getting much love aside from just lust.

Zayn and Ed finished their fags, stomping them on the floor, and left because Harry wanted to be alone.

Like always Harry’s thoughts drift to Louis, what he would look like, what he would smell like, what his laugh would sound like after Harry told some ridiculous joke, what his moans would sound like in Harry’s bed, what his face would look like when he say Jaya and Lottie after all these years, what his face would look like after he recognizes Harry. Would it be happy? Relieved? Sad? Anxious? Mad? Would Louis blame Harry for not searching harder or longer? Would he hate Harry? Or love him in the way that Harry loves him? What if he has a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend? The latter would probably kill him inside.

“Haz?” Harry turned around quickly not realizing that he had tears running down his face. Gemma looked concerned. “We’re gonna cut the cake soon. You okay?” Even with the close relationship Harry has with Gemma, he still is terrified that she would react badly to Harry being in love with a man and not any man, one that might be dead. Harry nodded not wanting Gem to worry. She knew something was bothering her little brother but she knew Harry and he would tell her eventually. Harry followed her into his flat where his Mum pulled a big cake out of his fridge. It was decorated beautifully with a nautical theme of ships, anchors and swallows. Harry smiled wide to conceal his ruined mood in an attempt to salvage the night. They sing to him, horribly but Harry loved it, and Harry gets the piece of cake with a little anchor with rope threaded through and around it. It reminded him of Louis who always anchored his floaty mind to Earth and his heart to Louis’ memory.  The rest of the night seemed blurry until everyone left except the lads and Ed.

“We have another birthday surprise for you.” Liam said smirking at him and Harry felt really uncomfortable.

“For this surprise we laid out some clothes for you to wear and Zayn is gonna do your hair.” Harry didn’t feel like fighting them, but he also didn’t feel like going out.

“Come on lads, can’t we just stay in and watch some films?” Sadly Liam and Zayn were set on some plan. Once Harry was dressed to impress in his skin tight, black jeans, and his sheer, black button up with half the buttons undone; and jewelry including his many rings, his Rolex, and his cross necklace paired with his favorite Chelsea boots.

Harry, Ed, Liam, and Zayn get into Liam’s black Range Rover and take a half an hour frive to the very outskirts of London to a huge black building that looked relatively normal from the outside and nothing but acreage around them. There’s no sign or name of the place to be seen, ‘maybe its one of those invite only things?’ Harry questions to himself. They walk inside and give their electronic devices to the burly man at the door. ‘That’s reassuring’ Harry says again to himself getting slightly more terrified walking through this dark hallway without his phone.

“Calm down mate, I’ve been here a few times. It’s nothin’ sketchy” Ed reassures Harry, and he takes a shallow breath as they walk through large double doors into an enormous room filled with blaring club music. There were a plethora of people scattered around tables and the colossal bar located in the back facing the equally large stage with some incredibly attractive women dancing around the stage and on poles to remixed sex music. Flashing lights appear around the women as they finish up on stage and move to the floor where they dance on men and women alike grabbing copious amounts of bills from each person then moving backstage. Ed guides them to the stairs that lead the group to a VIP room that overlooks the entire stage and has its own bar and tender. 

“A fucking strip club?!” Harry is slightly offended, he can get laid very easily so why would his mates feel it appropriate to take him here? Harry didn’t want to offend anyone so he waited until it was just him and the lads, and the bartender.

“Calm down mate, this is supposed to be fun, not offensive. We didn’t mean anything by it just a night of alcohol, and hot birds and lads that may or may not end up dancing on us.” Liam mollified Harry minutely. Harry had nothing against the profession of stripping, he just didn’t feel like being around people today.

“Well I think you of all people would enjoy some of the lads here, top of the line fit.” Ed says like it actually matters, don’t get him wrong Harry loves fit people but more than that he loves to be around and date people he can emotionally connect with easily. The lights dim and cheers outweigh the beat of the new music that started. Harry assumed that people knew who came next, ‘that is kind of pathetic’ Harry thinks.

The stage lights shine a bright blue and two very fit lads strut out cockily.

“Lets give a warm welcome to reigning favorites Ireland and Tommy the Tease!” The cheers raise exponentially and Harry finds himself being drawn into the stage where two of the most beautiful, aside from Zayn who isn’t human anyways, human beings Harry has ever seen strut to sultry music. They do some elaborate, yet so **so** dirty, dance that gets Harry semi hard, and god Harry hasn’t gotten hard this easily since he was a young teenager. Harry’s mind only focuses on the curvy one with the greatest ass in probably the history of existence. He may be exaggerating but damn is that a fine ass.

“They are the main reason I recommended this place to Liam and Zayn. Tommy and Ireland are the favorites among all genders. I had to pay an arm and a leg to get Ireland for a night, but was totally worth it.” Wait, they’re prostitutes too?

“Not exactly prostitutes, but essentially yeah.” Harry must have said that out loud. He chuckles nervously in embarrassment. His attention is back on Tommy, Harry is assuming that isn’t his real name but he’ll go with it for now. The dance is sensual, sultry, and has Harry asking Ed how to get him.

“Simple, place a bid on Tommy with the scary guy by the bar, he runs the place, and the highest bidder pays depending on how long you want ‘im.” Harry nodded making his way out of the VIP room straight to the bar where he found the scary looking man.

“I want Tommy.” Harry says darker than he intended.

“Get in line kid.” Harry balled his fists at the man, _fucker_ , he thinks.

“How much?”

“Highest so far is 70,000 £” Harry’s eyes widened, sure Harry had more than enough in his bank account but that was more than he was expecting for a stripper.

“I’ll give 80,000 £” The man simply raised his eyebrows.

“You got that kinda money on ya’ kid?” Shit, well he didn’t have it _on_ him per say.

“Well not with me but I can give you the money tomorrow from my account.”

“Sorry kid, cash only.”

“Come on man, I’ll pay for Hazza since its his birthday.” Ed came up behind Harry with a dufflebag full of pounds. Harry looked on incredulously, what even was Ed Sheeran.

The man nodded whispering something to a man on his right who sped away and another man lead Harry to the room he was to wait in. The room itself was lavish and screamed money, this whole club screamed expensive. Harry wondered what Tommy’s life was like here. Harry occupied himself with his phone until the door creaked open displaying Tommy wearing blue, lace panties with his cock tucked into the side and black suspenders. Harry may have a suspender kink now. Tommy closes the door and waits for Harry to instruct him.

“Come.”

…

Louis was nervous. He normally didn’t get nervous with clients because William usually took over but for some reason Louis was on his own and that terrified him, but he walked towards the mystery man anyways. Louis waited in front of the man while he looked Louis over already hard. Louis was almost afraid the man didn’t like what he saw more clearly.

“God, you’re beautiful.” The man let slip and Louis smiled minutely. The man looked amazed at Louis’ semi formed abs and overall curvy figure.

“Turn around.” Louis did so and the man groped Louis’ fleshy ass with his gargantuan hands that covered most of Louis’ bum. Louis started getting hard.

“Beautiful, aren’t you baby?” Louis nodded.

“Use your words Sweets.”

“I am.”

“You are what baby?”

“I’m beautiful.”

“Yeah” he said breathlessly.

The man looked at him and Louis loved his green eyes with tiny specks of gold lining the iris. His curly locks pulled back into a blue headscarf, and the way he held Louis tightly as though he would fall apart if he let go. Louis felt something foreign to him, safety.

…

As Tommy started getting undressed, Harry felt wrong like he was cheating on an important test or stealing a cookie his mum said was specifically for Julie’s bake sale.

Harry as well felt guilty admiring Tommy’s little body unclothed like he was peeking at his best friend without his knowing.

“Stop,” Harry found himself saying as Tommy went to open his trousers, “Just put your clothes on please.” He could almost see the genuine panic on Tommy’s face and Harry didn’t understand why. Tommy was shaking but Harry could see he was trying to control it. That killed him.

Harry stood up, walked over to Tommy and hugged him wrapping his arms around Tommy’s neck and nuzzling his face on top of Tommy’s head. Harry too felt a sense of safety unlike his comfort from Liam and Zayn. Tommy hesitantly wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist then held on tighter to Harry. Harry steered them onto the bed where they cuddled for a while. Harry felt as though they were made for each other which terrified him because of his conflicting feelings for Louis.

“So, how was your day?” Louis looked surprised to say the least, like no one had ever asked that before.

“Um, it was alright I guess, normal” Louis seemed hesitant, like he was scared to let Harry know even the most elementary facts about him.

So Harry told Tommy as much as he could about himself. “My name is Harry Edward Styles, born in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire and raised in Doncaster. Five foot eleven, size eleven shoes. My favorite color is blue, I love designer boots and flamboyant shirts and headscarfs. I trip a lot and I’m terrible at any and every sport. I’m a singer but I also love to cook and would like to eventually settle down and open a bakery. I have my mum, Anne, my stepdad, Robin, and my older sister Gemma. I have four best friends but I only see two of them. And-”

“I think I get the gist of your life Harry” Louis cut Harry off but Harry also needed this moment of therapy with him.

“I drink, a lot, and do a lot of drugs to help me forget the shitty things in my life like the amount of hate I get daily, the constant pressure to be what I’m not –a heterosexual, womanizing player who parties too much and lives life to the fullest–, the constant loneliness I feel because I’ve lost the only person I’ve ever loved. I just, I don’t know, I needed to tell you this because maybe we could be friends?” Louis looked at him suspiciously so Harry quickly added, “I know we’ve only known each other for an hour at most but I think we could be good friends?” Harry watched the boy struggle to figure out Harry and finally say, “Sure.”

Harry’s face lit up like the Fourth of July and Louis could help but think he was utterly beautiful. They talked lightly for another hour with Harry telling Tommy little factoids about his life and Tommy minutely answering some questions he was asked. Harry never really learned anything from Tommy but that was okay because Harry planned on spending a lot more time with the stunning lad. Before long Harry heard light snoring. Harry unwrapped himself from Tommy and admired the boy once again. Tommy was the kind of guy you just kind of sit and admire what he’s like.

For the first time in what seems like forever, Harry didn’t think of Louis. He thought of Tommy and how he felt safe, and protective of this boy he met only hours ago. Harry didn’t want to label anything but he was very well on his way to loving this boy.

The next morning Harry woke up alone, feeling bittersweet. Still content from the night before yet when Harry felt the cold side of the bed next to him, he felt empty. Harry got up, and almost missing the note on the floor in front of the door.

‘Curly, thank you :)’

Harry didn’t stop smiling all day, and if asked he simply smiled.

…

_Louis loved school; he was good at learning and had a lot of friends. His best friends were two younger kids named Liam and Zayn. He liked messing around with Liam pulling pranks and getting in trouble. He liked Zayn because Zayn loved reading and drawing and Louis liked to just sit with Zayn and listen to music, sometimes Zayn would draw random things on Louis’ arms like a stickman on a skateboard._

_The trio was reluctant to let the new Irish lad join but soon found the chubby little bugger was loads of fun and sunshine._

_When Harry came along Louis was smitten at first glance, accidentally hurting him, and Louis couldn’t resist going to the lad’s house everyday asking if ‘Hazzy’ wanted to play, and for a week Harry rejected his invitations because he was scared of the older lad. Louis resorted to drastic measures and snuck up to Harry’s window, which was located downstairs near the back, and knocked until Harry opened up. When he did an angry Harry asked what he was doing._

_“Getting your attention” he replied with a cheeky smile which melted Harry’s heart a little._

_“It’s nap time, Im supposed to be sleeping.” Louis thought for a minute before climbing into Harry’s bed and waiting for Harry to join him, and when he did Louis spooned him until they both fell asleep. And if Anne found them later and took a picture, well no one had to know. Of course when Louis woke up he was lectured by his mum on the dangers and consequences of running away and not telling her where he is going._

_Louis loved school that is until the bullying began. It started off with kids making fun of Niall for his weight, then when Louis and Liam would stand up for him it escalated to older kids pushing Harry around when he wasn’t near Louis. Louis sprained his wrist fighting a kid bullying Harry named Nick. Nick pushed Harry off the swings when he thought Harry was alone, but Louis was talking to a girl in his class called Jade who complemented Louis on his friendship bracelet that matched Harry’s, Louis saw and tackled Nick to the ground and tried punching him. Nick was bigger and older than Louis so he easily pushed Louis off and started punching Louis harder. The teachers saw and sent both kids to the principal. Louis was grounded for two weeks, but Louis didn’t care. A few days later Nick was teasing Harry and Niall, and when Louis told him to stop Nick pushed him to the ground and Louis landed on his arm wrong spraining his wrist. Later that year Louis broke his hand fighting Nick, and was never able to make a solid fist ever again, but Louis always thought that Harry was worth it._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you sooo much for giving this a try, comments and kudos are appreciated.


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